unpredictable...

u said dat u r happy when i mentioned to u dat im going to cont. my study..
u said dat i'm really not understand u..
but then u shut ur mouth..
u speechless..
nothing to say...
no smile on ur face..
it just that wherever i go u will follow me..
when i arrived to a place..
i looked back n thr u r behind me..
b4 this hugging is not ur interest..
but last night u keep on hug me until i can't breath..
luckily i dun die..
i really dun understand what's on ur mind..
u did wat i ask u to do..
but u keep silence...
horrow...
is wat my feeling now..
i made up my mind to study as u keepppppp push me to do so..
everyday u said..
'bawa pantat ka p cari kerja! pg la skola..pkir sal masa depan.'
but now when i really want to go..
u make such a dump2 dummy attitude..
that sometimes i just want to tear u to two parts..
really meradang..
wait for me...
wait me to come back..
i will be back..
when im free i will find u..
me too hard to leave..
but i have to..
everyday when i wake up u the first i saw sleeping beside me..
before sleep u the last one i see n chit chat wit me until both of us no sound...
it not dat i want to leave..
but then when i think back i should learn to be independent..

after this..
i will go..
away from u...
sleep without u..
makan without u..
but
still
i can't live without u..

I LOVE U SAYANG..

Little Castle & overhauled myself....

overhauled myself..hehe from long to short hair...

before it was straight as the pic on side of this

blog...then...curl...after that short..i done it

for only...

4 months..huhuhu

LITTLE CASTLE..

dis was my mum's theme to decorate our house..

mamy named it as above..

i felt so warm everytime i reached my home...

mamy really great in designing...]

my mum's creativity i showed here coz our home will always have different design...

esp when mamy on holiday../

all made by my mamy...

designer: clara..XD

bedtime story....

this is not same like the mv yeah..
it is my story..
hehe
ermm
i duno la wat happen to his head?
everynight merajuk...
sometime benci sia mau layan..
if i dun accompany him till he sleep..
he will keep calling..
if i'm answered he will said 'salah num' then text me..'x tahan gaya ko la'..'xdpt tdr la'
whn i'm thr..he will keep mati2 ask me 'bla plg?'
tp funny juga la u kan..
if want sleep must garu2..
sometime me too can't sleep w/out him..
if i malas want scratch him..
i leave my bulu kaki tajam..i meant i don't shave it...
then ask him garu use my kaki..so i no need to scratch using my hand or moving..
hahaahaaa
so everyday he slept 1st baru i jalan..
early in the morning..
i need to go thr at dawn wake him up at his gor2 room then help him pindah blik..
aiya...
mcm my anak oh..
but i love the most about him is..
HE DON'T SNOORING...
haahaa...
ur manja make me happy jg la..
huhu...

winduhhhhhhhhh...

i miss my home.
i miss my dady.
i miss my momy.
i miss my fify.
i miss my bed.
i miss my ben.
i miss khong2 jR.
i miss him.
i miss anne2.
i miss tine2.
i miss liz.
i miss tien2.

i duno y..i'm homesick..

i miss baby.my adopted son..
i miss mamak.
i miss bapa.
i miss daph2.
i miss leo.
i miss yen2.
i miss donna.

come hug me.

suddenly.
i feel like..
erm..angau..
to him.
with his noty thinking.
i know it's wrong...
try to get a chance.
acc me when i'm alone.
when i woke up at dawn.
watch mv he din like.
haha..
sot me.
been structed..


p/s:forgive me.

tWo i$ beTTer tH@n !...

urrrggghh..erm i'm fulled..

ate a lot zhu kiok just now..XD

my title meant was two story more better than one..haha

not 2 bf better than a bf..huhu

ok first is about global...

ABORTION!!!!

i duno why la...

dis ppl kan..love to throw their baby...

i meant their zygote or foetus...

sot maybe they all dis..

dat is ur own responsible to take care of ur baby..

not to be irresponsible to throw ur baby..

ur blood flowing in their blood vessel...

HOW COULD THOSE WHO IRRESPONSIBLE! CRUEL!

mamy dady do abortion...

i'm so sad everytime i view news n will appear news about

abortion...

after i heard a song about a campaign on anti-abortion..

i cried..

pity those deceased baby..

their momy DESTROYS THEIR SOUL...KILL THEIR OWN CHILD..

hey mothers...

don't u know u made them up...

GOD gave them soul to live in ur womb..

patiently waiting to be touch by their momy..

waiting to be grown up...

waiting to BE LOVED by their momy..

but all their wait destroyed by U!

ya maybe u feel ashamed on wat u did..

u make love with ur bf n have them...

n u were left by ur bf..

but if u r clever...

u will give birth to them...

n leave them on many shelf that built now for abandoned baby..

u should not be a moron to kill..

they need a live..

there are thousand...million...billion...many married couple who needed child..

if u give she/he to them..

u wont make any sin thou...

ya maybe..

some children might be so derhaka...like si tenggang..

but some child may be help u one day..

n u proud to have them...

i'm also not a good child..

me too will fight wit my dady mamy...

but i still love them..

i do care bout them..

they love me so much..

i'm dady mamy's girl...

over manja..

dat's y i'll be naughty some time...

but plsss..

kill ur foetus..

make u feel regret on ur lasting life...

p/s" love them as u love ur bf b4..u love ur bf until u dare to make love wit them..if u think it deeply...if u love ur baby as u love ur beloved bf..then god will love u more...pendek kata..

berani buat berani tanggung...

ok let's continue..

2nd story is about my memory..

i want to type it down..

so that 1 day..if n only if..my relation is over..i can read it here..n it can be my LESSON...

to be more matured...more independent...more careful..more loving...

in my future..

y'day..i watched...benci bilang cinta...

they ran away from home...to achieve peaceful..

then..

i remembered once..

me n him ran away from home...

i followed him..

for a week..

he had argued with his dad..n need to cool down..

1st he dont want me to follow..but i insisted..

so we went away at that evening..

he cried all the way..

i'm pity for him..but i knew his attitude..he had sensitive heart..

as we arrived..we found a hotel room to stay..

luckily we had some cash..n he brought his atm card..

next...I bought some daily use products..n my cloth..in n out..

i have to put on a budget cause his money is not so many..

he waited for me on a bench n holded my bag..

hehe...like i'm a boy n he's the girl..

then we go up n have a bath..

i tried to cool him down..his hp keep on ringing..

begging him to come home...my mom ok coz she knew dat..

we dinner wit our fren..coz luckily his cousin's gf bday...so budget keep decreasing..

huhu..

then went to a club...gambling...drinking...n chit chat..

all of them keep trying to find a chance to talk wit me bout his condition..

HAHA...funny 'em...

next day..we woke up late..n take kfc as our brkfast & lunch..

then do ntg...n check out...

after dat we went for swimming at bkt pdg..best ni..

trus at nite we clubbing agn at BED..

first tym feel so syok..coz not many peps thr..

then..we go next round n he missed throw my ring..even i pening i kept find it even knocked my head many tyms..i'm started to get mad..n he find it everywhr...he also knocked his head..

baru u tau..

lastly he n his fren cari mati2..nasib jumpa..if not kena la u..

then i mabuk again..haha

we go bck to pnmpg..

n dats the round n round of life happened when we ran away..

really susah la..

need to dig money everyday..

need to cook..

need to wash cloth..

really miskin..

only nite we be happy..

aguiii..

but

finally

we

came

home..

haha

penat my thumbs dis..need to rest n play mall world..

haha..

stay tuned..

next story again later..

coz 4 & 1/2 years..

many things happened on us...

need to refresh my mind...

ahhhhghh..penat..

bubye..

XOXO..

love: chi2

spying...detecting....wondering....discovering...

Finallyyyyyyyy...........
i made up my mind...
i discovered it....
memorandum that i found is true..
fossil dat i digged is suit...
just haven't meet u yet...
love
love
love....
was lost....
now i....
standing here...
watching u...
cheering ur hapiness...
believing that u r her...
on her arm..
gracefully..
treat u as a king...
i sipped once...
numb myself...
trying to move on...
w/out the shadow...
i heard a voices of happiness is following me...
i'm following the wind..
which bringing me to somewhere i might belong to...
i'm in love with my peace...
throwing one and one of my hurt...
leaving it behind....
i'm tracking a new journey...

..tO MY HAPPINess....

thanks for all u did...
i appreciated it...
sorry for all the wrong...
i'll changed it...

wind blown away my sadness...tears...
i don't know why i'm full of excitement n anxiety right now...

(^.^)..........smiling to the world...............

being optimistic is my moto now....
pray that i'll done it...'crossing finger'

hard...
to take away the ring...
to leave my whitey white i-phone..
lovely damaged car...
lovely ex family-in-laws...
hug u for the last time...
but for all...
im still quite regret...

it's someone who make me feel worthy to leave..
his own sib...
i know dat is not good to feel this way..
but all he had said n made me happy...
made me...
want to leave the hurt..
thanks to u 'x'...
haha

after a long time...........
GOODBYE..................................................................................



p/s: love u....lo vun khong....

>.<....

i hate when i'm drunk...
duhh..
pening2..
at his bday party..
i can't eat..cause this few days i don't have appetite to eat...n can't sleep well...eat a lot n feel want vomit...
so that night i took small amount of food..but then i started to drink...
not pass 12 i already drunk..
everyone watching on me...esp him..
i keep on going to washroom n vomitting..
then he entered woman washroom to watch me..
eventhough thr r girl inside..
but i don't rmbred that..
i just know how bad was me the night..
because of me my momy can't enjoy the night..
n kept care of me all night..
THANKS MY BELOVED SEXY MOMY...
n some special ppl..
THANKS AUNTY INDAY FOR CARRY ME..
THANKS GUGU AHFUNG FOR CARE ME..
thanks my sayang...love u..
even we fight a lot that night...
because of
1.my bestfren bf answered her hp...he tot that was her bf num..stupid syg..
2.i gave him present but the size too small..haha
3.i make-uping take a long time...

sot2 day...all day no mood...
nasib got vivian,boboy,ahock,ayung,aligato,ben2,ah syn,ah seng
yg sporting..make me LOL....thx ya'll...

the day after..me n him...kept vomit...
hao cham...
feel lyk dun want drink already...
BENCI la gaduh everyday..
like last nite gaduh pasal...
'oi knp ko lyn sy jahat'
ko balas...'oi ko yg layan sy jahat'
ahh burit saja...

by the way...

p//s:hope u read this...

SAYANG....
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY...
WOW..BIG BOY ALREADY..ENTERED MAN'S WORLD...(WELCOME2)
THANKS FOR THE LOVE,CARE,ATTENTION & 1K MORE...
IT'S BEEN UP N DOWN IN OUR RELATION...
EVEN WE COMING TO GIVE UP CAUSE NO WAY TO RE-DO US...
BUT STILL I WILL BE THR 4 U...
I STILL NEEDED U...
HOW I CAN SLP W/OUT U?
HOW I CAN LIVE W/OUT U?
HOW I CAN SMILE W/OUT UR BURUK FACE?
HOW I CAN SLEEP W/OUT SMELL UR KELETIAK?
HOW I CAN EAT W/OUT U FED ME?

BUT YA I HAVE TO BE OPTIMISTIC...
U NEED A NEW LOVE..

WATEVER HAPPENED...

I LOVE U...
LO VUN KHONG
ALAT
HONEY
BUNTOT
KHONG2
LAKI

GOOD LUCK ON EVERYTHING U DO...
ESP IN UR BUSINESS..
IN UR NEW LOVE..HEY PLS BE MORE ROMANTIC..
UR HEALTHYNESS...
MAY GBU TOO...