FeeL..

When I saw ppl so loving I'm kinda jealous neh..
Grrr!
Sweet oh kan..
The Bf really sporting..n Loving neh..
When He saw me keep watching the pictures he will say..
"Jealous kan tengok orang..sy boleh jadi gitu kalau ko dulu tidak kasi main perasaan sy"
"boleh bah kau tunggu sy..sy masi uji ko neh..klo dalam beberapa tahun ko x ubah..ko kosong dalam sti sy"
OMG
I'm speechless..
like I need to sit for SPM again punya feel oh..

but will keep trying..
somewhere somehow..
who know happen next?
dying or living not in our hand..
marry or divorce not decided by one person..
Held ur breath..
Listen to ur heart..
Pray what u want will turn to reality..
SCREAM OUT..
I"M HAPPY..
NO CRY..
NO SADNESS..
SMILE..
CAUSE..
THERE ARE MANY MORE PEOPOLE WHO LOVE ME..
=)
WAITING FOR THE END..
WAITING FOR THE HAPPINESS.
FORGET THE PASS..
THIS WAS NOT THE 'FULL STOP'
I'M ALIVE
SO
WHAT I WANT TO CRY FOR?
I FEEL GOOD
NEVER FELL DOWN
BUT GO STRAIGHT
&
MOVE ON!
THINGS
GO
AROUND
WILL
COME
AROUND
!!!!! ]

Sorry..I LOVE U..

I'm giving..
But I got nothing..
I'm trying..
But the other part didn't try at all..
Keep blaming me..
All this happened because of me..
No more together..
Its just me myself..
You yourself..
For what I'm doing one hand survival..
Yeah..
U tried too..
But only try to make things ok..
Not to make things settle and fix it..
There are too many major problem for me to do..
Not only this..
If I turn o giving up..
What will happen to you?
I want to try..
But when I showed you I give up..
I will scare f the effect..
I really don't understand what our feeling now..
We can say to everyone we are just friend..
We told everyone no more love between us..
We make the world know that we are nothing..
But then every night & day we are together..
I'm done to be treat like this..
I'm done to give a try..
Now..
I just want to wait..
Wait for to pick up the pieces..
Fix the broken pieces..
Loading..
Refresh..
Will we be together again or will not be..
Is in your hand now..
You decide..
Because..
I tried..
You pushed..
I love..
You F*cking Hate me..
Just gonna stand here..
Watch me burn..
I love the way you lie..
I love the way you HATED..
Hear me mourning..
Hear me sigh-ing..
Hear me mad alone like a fucking shit peps..

That's alright..

We still belong to each other..

We still in love..

We still together..

But it's dark and horrow..

Living like nothing happen but actually it is matter..

Matter that me and you never realise what it is..

Never try to dig it..

Problem that both of us don't want to settle..

It's a secret between us..

Till when?

We don't know how long we will stand for this humble and sad relation..

What will be our future?

We don't know what we want to do next..
Break up no..
Get back together also no..

Will we be together till the end of time?

That is something we wish for..

It's just like a game by 2 player..
We will see who will be give up and release the tie..

My hope?

You will find someone better than me..
You will find your happiness..
You will be in love with the others..
No more disease from me..
Because..
When you happy..
I will be happy too..
Love doesn't need to be together..
Love came from the heart..
Deep inside it..
We love the person..
As I love u sayang..

SAYANG no more words between us..
I'm speechless and disable to do anything already..
All I wanted is happy now..
Happy with my friend..

Cause

I know when I'm with u we both only will be sad and anger surround us..

BTW..
I LOVE U DAMN MUCH...

p/s : babe..sorry ok.. I couldn't release my egotic.. all I can do now is pray.. =) don't worry..
I'm happy..

My Days.

Monday - Boring & Sleepy

Tuesday - Busy & Fun,Fearless & Fabulous

Wednesday - Relax & Hectic

Thursday - Tired & Relief

Friday - Busy & Exhausted

Saturday - Boring & Alone

Sunday - Rested & Free

Beauty Essentials..

I wanna share what I've been using to care of myself..
I'm not a big fan of beauty..
BUT
for me girl should care of their outer and inner self..
check it out..


this is for my face skin care product..BIOESSENCE..i love the scent and softness..but i'm too lazy to wash my face always..=Gthen ZA two way foundation is my NO.1 choice..it don't make my skin itchy..and it suit me very well..eventhough sometime i look like too much powdering..hiakhiak..I prefer SILKYGIRL DUO BLUSHER.. the colour is bright enuf even by one brush only..
this lip balm is MY BABY!! from THE BODY SHOP... IT taste so good.. n need to buy one..cause I'm just borrowing from my mom and i finished it..haha at the moment we were kissing it became a powerful and perfect kisses..haahaa becuz it's texture soft,scent so nice, and really make ur lips smooth..ahhh..




when it came to the eye area.. what I can't live with is MAYBELLINE MASCARA..any type of it I also use but recently I"M IN LOVE with MAGNUM & LONG LASTiNG OR UNSTOPPABLE..fuhh..just one brush and it make my lash full...UNSTOPPABLE for the a.m..while MAGNUM for p.m..


AVON eyeshadow is must have for eye make up.. it stay longer on my eyelid..and I love the soft texture and soft matte but a bit shine colour..




because I couldn't afford expensive eye shadow like M.A.C or DIOR..I just bought eyeshadow from SILKYGIRL..it is soft texture but the colour couldn't stay long cause I touch my eye frequently..BUt the colour is nice..



For my body...I use BABY JOHNSON'S SOAP..I need it because my skin is sensitive type and appeared many pimples on my body.. It couldn't cure the dots but at least it don't make my skin itchy..LOVE to bath anytime because of it..




I don't use any lotion..I just using BABY JOHNSON'S BABY OIL to my skin..it make my skin soft because my skin dry & sensitive..at night I will look shining too because of the oily texture..I also use it for make-up remover..It remove make-up faster and don't give itchness..I really needed it..it everywhr around me and always by my side..haha

Recently..ah khong's aunt give me this VICTORIA SECRET COLOGNE..I use it after bath..I love the smell..It make me more confident..haha



I am a PERFUMEHOLIC..haha I need fragrance..This might be inhereted from my mom..haha This ESCADA SENTIMENT was given from SAYANG years ago.. but I forgot already is this it or other type..I love it so much but It taken when we are on the airport to fly to BEIJING...siiittt..Thanks SAYANG.. u suprised me with it.. I still rmbr otw back home u ask me to find a box behind the car.. I look around and u say 'nah for u' n dis one for ur mom...haha kindet..xpa la u syg us bah kan..


This MIRACLE BY LANCOME, me & him bought at LABUAN..he chose this but I really love it..THANKS again...unfortunately,,,I duno whr I put it..ekekeke THIS is for A.M..
This is my 2nd baby.. I bring it everywhere..But I only use it for special event..haha
JESSICA SIMPSON FANCY LOVE..wahhh i love it too much oh...I bought it from the philipines..I love it till the end of tym..n I'm waiting for FLORA BY GUCCI..ahh x sabar..hehe



every groceries shop I will buy one MENTOS...I LOVE IT TOO>> I need it as like ciggarette..haha

THAT IS MINE..SO HOW ABOUT U ALL?
MUST HAVE THOU..

P/S: even we are pretty or not, small or big, thin or chub...we still need to care for ourself..love ourself first..take care!!! in or out we still need to care..

=D

y'day i was happy..
in the house i had jie2 n manyak gor2..
jim2..per2..mer2..
kira like bro sudah ni..
haha
teach me alot..
ling2..
help me with dish..
then thx to liz...tien2..lin pi..
yg bring me hang out..
have fun..
happy bao2..mkn bao2..
then to anne..
call me till half an hour..
acc me talking2..
im just relieve and happy..
thanks besties..n jie2 n gor2..

p/s: next time we go again..anne..SEE this..FOLLOW US!!! hehe

20.10.2010

hallaaaa...
it happen again..
instruder came again..
haiyak..
okok..
let me settle this ok...

but..

firstly, i want to thank you all my ladies...
liz...anne2...sandra..
u all my saviour and my heroin...
thanks so so much...

love u all....this < > much..
until the ujung dunia...
it's not i dun want to talk with u all..
but i also duno wat happen and i duno wat to share..
ok now i tell ya darling2 sekalian..

TO ADVICE :

REFER TO UR ADVICE..I REALLY APPRECIATED YOUR KINDNESS TOWARD ME..
THANKS A LOT..
BUT I WANT TO CLEAR THIS SITUATION AND I WANT U TO KNOW THAT SHOULD BE I'M THE ONE TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SITUATION THAN U DO RIGHT..
BUT U ACT LIKE U KNOW EVERYTHING..
I DON'T OFFEND WHAT YOU HAD ADVISED..AND NO WORD AS ANGRY..
BUT SEEMS LIKE U AMBUSHING MY FRIEND LIKE THEY NEVER WITH ME..
BUT THE TRUTH IS THEY KNEW ME THAN EVERYONE ELSE..
NEVER EVER SAY LIKE THAT AGAIN ABOUT THEM OK..

OK HOW COME U KNOW HE CHEATING BEHIND ME?
HOW COME U KNOW HE MAKE LOVE WITH OTHERS?
GIVE ME AN EXPLAINATION THEN I WILL ASK HIM..
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO BOOM-ING HIM JUST LIKE THAT WITHOT ANY EVIDENCE..
GIVE ME AT LEAST ONE REASON AND WHY I HAVE TO ASK HIM THEN I ASK OK..

IF U KNOW MORE THAT UNTIL HE MAKING LOVE WITH OTHERS BEHIND ME..
SO I ASK U NOW?
IS U THE GIRL WHO MAKING LOVE WITH HIM?
BECAUSE NO ONE EVER COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT HIM..
YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE..
HORRAAYYYY....U ARE THE NUMBER ONE..

ACTUALLY I'M AWAY WITH HIM FOR ONLY 3DAYS EVERY WEEK..
THURSDAY TILL SUNDAY NIGHT I AM SLEEPING BESIDE HIM..
THE REST OF THE NIGHT HE WILL CALL ME BEFORE HE SLEEP..
AND MY FRIEND WILL ACCOMPANY HIM TO SLEEP..
HOW HE CHEAT ME ACTUALLY?
BY DIGGING A HOLE IN HIS ROOM?

ACTUALLY I KNEW MORE THAN THAT..
I KNEW WHAT HE DOING BEHIND ME..
HE BEEN SO HONEST..
EVEN HIS STORY WITH OTHER GIRL HE ALSO TELL ME..
WE ARE SAME LIKE BEST FRIEND..
I DON'T CONTROL HIM BUT I CARE FOR HIM..

YA..
I KNEW I WROTE A LOT ABOUT HOW DEEP MY HURT IS..
YA I GET A LOT OF HURT..
BUT AT LEAST I STILL BEING CARE..
I 'M HAPPY THOU..

BE HONEST..
AT LEAST SOMEHOW SOMEWHAT HE STILL DESIRE TO PUMPING ME..
IF HE SLEPT OTHERS..
WHY THE HELL HE STILL WANTING ME TO GIVE HIM HEAVEN..
I BEEN OPEN HERE TO TELL MY 'BEDTIME' STORY BECAUSE IT IS OFTEN YO US AS A TEEN..

WE STILL SYOK LIKE HEAVEN WHEN WE PUMPING AROUND..
IF HE MAKE UP WITH OTHERS HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE RIGHT..
BUT IF HE STILL DOING SO..
WHAT CAN I DO?
MAN NEED PASSIONATE..
AT LEAST HE COME BACK TO ME EVERY NIGHT AND NEVER LEAVE ME SLEEP ALONE
EXCEPT MY LEAVING..
BUT THEN HE WAS HERE..
HE STILL DOING GREAT IN MAKING LOVE..=D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I AM AGRESSIVE...
SORRY IF IT IS SENSITIVE TO ANYONE..
BUT I AM OPEN MINDED...

BY THE WAY..
THANKS AGAIN..
I KNEW U CARE FOR ME..
I KNEW U WANT ME TO GET HAPPINESS..
BUT I FOUND MY HAPPINESS TOO IN THIS HURTFUL HEART..

THANKS.. "BOWING"

P/S: SORRY FOR THE WHOLE SEXUAL THINGY...=KAKAKAKA

ReVenge..

this is what i got for my sin before..
i can't stand IT ANYMORE..
it's really hurtful..

i dun want u to spend money on me..
waste ur tym on me..

but sure u din love me anymore..

it's hurt me...
u know???
or u dunno..

u happy to treat me dis way..
ok..
keep up ur good work..
i just want to spend tym wit my babe..

but u said..
'aiya xdpt trun ni'
so im kinda despair...

but as i din know..
behind me..
u go ur own..
u went thr silently..
ok then..
i accepted it..
n i think dis was my mistake..
thanks to u...
but te;; u the truth..
i'n hurt..
and this hurt had make me...
free..
without ur love..
i just knw wat hate is...
for sure..
i'm sorry ..