Joy To THe WoRlD!!!

My understanding on Christmas...
-Celebrating Jesus Christ's Birth
-Pray Eat Love Drink
-Family & Love
-GIFT!!!!

BUT

Did it happen to everyone?
Mystery X'mas..

All I knew was MY CHRISTMAST"S LIST!!!!

please la u all see this especially LO VUN KHONG...hehehe

1.My desperado family get back and try la to see u all face in mirror and please realized what is ur age and status...duh

2.NO more arguing for everyone..

3.Dady and sayang please la change for me...stop alcohol..

4.No more major problem in life..

5.All I want for New Year is an Iphone 4...start saving..

6.Laptop

7.MONEY!!!!!!!!

8.CAmERA

9.NEW love and hope from u...muahhh

10.All his dream come true..

11.BULLDOG!!!!!!

Santa Claus come and see it...=))))))))

I'm not really needed all the expensive stuff..But what I want is for my enjoyment and need as I worked hard to have it..But most of all I just want to have a simple X;mas with u but I think we gonna be separate on this christmas.. May U be a good boy here and..

HAPPY 4Th 'ANNIVERSARY' Sayang,Honey,Laki.....on 25th DEC 2010..


p/s:ITs not the how we met anniversary but it is something special..=) thanks to u sayang.. muahhhhh

LoNg StoRy ShoRt..BasEd On MoOd...

HappY !
-LaSt few weeks..me and my family have a family day and we decorated our house together..for so long I didn't have family day and I'm really happy that we can managed time for that simple session..and the outcome was MARVELOUS!!!! We managed to decorate mommy's new bought X'mas tree...it is now stand still and pretty..LOVE MY FAMILY...MUACHHHss....

-I'm craving to have mango and every time he's out of my sight I will scream "CARI Sy MANGGA!" like a mad lady..huhu but I really want it..Every time he came home I would be dissapointed..But 1 day..in the office I am busy with my job..suddenly he came and put on the my desk black plastic bag..then he asked me to open..as I open it It is mangoes..he told me ' nah jangan marah2 lagi'..I'm so happy and I ate it alone without share him..wakakakaa baru tau sab ko lmbt..

-On 10.12.2010...me and my cousin yen..attended a function..we are having a good and rush day..bt what we satisfied with is OUR HAIR...cantik oh yen's hair...so envy..ghehe


ThankFul !
-Finally my mom open up her heart to go to church again..I am so relieved..aduii...Last Sunday like always my mom's family will gathering and they discussed to attend mass on the next day..as my mom heard it she told me that tomorrow we also need to go to church..on the day,she really woke up early and she woke me up too..we get ready and we attended the mass.. In my prayer I told God that I'm so thankful and for the rest of time I prayed that she will keep on that way..Thanks god for listening to my prayer..=)

AnGer !
-What the hell had happened to me this few days...I'm really bad mood all the time on him...He want to discuss about buying me a property that every one needed now but I refused and put his head on my feet...Every time he want to be sweet to me I will "URGHH"...Its not I didn't love him but I am so moody..=Grr...

Sad !
-Something happened to my beloved one..and it hurt me badly..I cried and cried..Pray and pray..so that this thing will be settled a.s.a.p..T.T

My F & F Day..

I LOVE TODAY!!!!
I spent most of my time with my beloved family and friends..
In the morning, I spent my time with my mom.
helping her here and there.
IT IS WORTH IT>
LOVE U MOM..
In the evening, I spent my time with anne2.
LAUGH, EAT, STORY!!!!!!!!!
THANKS TO U AND UR FAMILY BABE..nice dish..hehe
At night, I spent my time with my sis and cousins..
having so much fun during the dining session..

I ate too much today..
haha
But I like it..
When I open my eyes all I can see is food.
EAT!
EAT!
EAT!
All the food that I wanted and liked was in front of me today..
thanks anne and family...
I appreciated it..
But when I remembered to post it out.
I realized none one of the picture of my happiness today I capture.
so sad..

I felt so happy and tired..need to sleep now..
But in my prayer..
I hope more happiness coming soon..
As I never realized that my family and friends are much more important to me..
Sadly..
I never try to dig some time with them..
=)
HOPE MORE IN THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!

p/s: THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE!!! mom, aunt angela, dady, uncle ayung, anne, cindy, donna and fiffy.. LOVE U ALL!!!!!!

My Facts.

1. Love Exist When U feel It..Not BY MOUTH & BRAIN.

2. Light is the fastest in the world.

3. Music can estimate ur mood..for me la...haha

4. Money can't buy love or happiness.

5. Poor doesn't meant u aren't happy..

6. Girls can do a lot of things in one time..but not for boy..

7. Mother is SUPERHERO..not superman,batman,spiderman & etc..

8. God help us on our feeling..not GOD who help us to make things right..like God doesn't came and give us hand to help us..sometime we did the bad thing and don't blame GOD cause God not visible.

9. Sleep is IMPORTANT..

10. I am workaholic and less having fun..last time I step in to club on JUNE 2010.

11. I am not a beautiful girl but I am proud as I am not idiot and not helpless..cacat..

12. I am a nerd.

13. FUCK mean FOR UR COMMENT KA u cakap ni ?

14. Other meaning of FUCK U is LOVE U>>

15. I didn't said a word I love u For almost half year..luckily last nite ada..

16. LOVE family 1st.

17. Wishing to have a baby..WHO CAN GIVE ME ONE?

18. I don't like too much fur dog.. I LOVE BULLDOG...emmmm WHEN I CAN HAVE IT????

19. OVEER SOFT-HEARTED... never left him eventhough kena halau.

20. WISHING to be a MILLIONAIRE!!!!!!! NEED $$$$$$$$$$....

21. TOOO SHHHYYY TO BE TRUTH!!!!!

22. Sometime I AM MEMBUNGA..kasi over2 story & LYING because Lie To ME sometimes helping too.. BUT never too much..the person I always membunga2 time chit chat is HIM<3 haha suka butul ni..

23. Prefer SALTY than SWEET.. duno y..I <3 MANGO..

24. I DIDN"T BUY CLOTHING FOR HALF YEAR ODY...damnn X $$..

25. kadang2 sot ni..=\ mereng..

26. I treat other people okay.. but for my dear sayang I AM NOT...

27. HE TREAT ME WELL RECENTLY..i duno y.. I LOVE HIM..=) but still afraid to close wit me n he don't want people to know our relation.

28. I AM SUPER SIMPLE>

29. When LEaving a place our step will remain there..

30. LIFE is BEAUTIFUL.. even we have bad or good living it is beautiful..coz those abortion baby didn't have any chance to take a breath in this world..so their LIFE is UGLY..

31. MOMMY is mY BESTFRIEND>

32. DADDY is mY HERO>

33. BEN2 is mY BIG BROTHER>

34. FIFFY is mY REPORTER>

35. ANNE, LIZ, TIEN2, MAC, BYL, FY are MY BABES>>>LUF U GUYS!

36. SAN, VIEN are my CYG. <3 juga..

37. I have carrier mom and dad, bro n sis.. HIS FAMILY..hahaks.

38. 7 WONDERS in the WORLD are AMAZING..

39. BACK TO THE LATE CENTURY, people are GENIUS.

40. MODERN CENTURY, people are CREATIVE only. they just adapt from before, so they are stupid actually. W/OUT the OLD one WHERE will BE THE YOUNG ONE!

41. PEACE exist LONG TIME AGO. NOW here and there are HECTIC!

42. MONEY is IMPORTANT for those crazy of MATERIAL & NAME.. me included.=|

43. Beauty Come From The Inner. NOT FROM SURGERY!

44. We catch TIME! NOT time catch us.

45. THINKING 'rambut sama hitam,hati lain2' TIDAK NGAM.. cause now people dyed their hair.



-This Is Only Apart Of My Thinking-


p/s : no attemption to anybody..XOXo..

FeeL..

When I saw ppl so loving I'm kinda jealous neh..
Grrr!
Sweet oh kan..
The Bf really sporting..n Loving neh..
When He saw me keep watching the pictures he will say..
"Jealous kan tengok orang..sy boleh jadi gitu kalau ko dulu tidak kasi main perasaan sy"
"boleh bah kau tunggu sy..sy masi uji ko neh..klo dalam beberapa tahun ko x ubah..ko kosong dalam sti sy"
OMG
I'm speechless..
like I need to sit for SPM again punya feel oh..

but will keep trying..
somewhere somehow..
who know happen next?
dying or living not in our hand..
marry or divorce not decided by one person..
Held ur breath..
Listen to ur heart..
Pray what u want will turn to reality..
SCREAM OUT..
I"M HAPPY..
NO CRY..
NO SADNESS..
SMILE..
CAUSE..
THERE ARE MANY MORE PEOPOLE WHO LOVE ME..
=)
WAITING FOR THE END..
WAITING FOR THE HAPPINESS.
FORGET THE PASS..
THIS WAS NOT THE 'FULL STOP'
I'M ALIVE
SO
WHAT I WANT TO CRY FOR?
I FEEL GOOD
NEVER FELL DOWN
BUT GO STRAIGHT
&
MOVE ON!
THINGS
GO
AROUND
WILL
COME
AROUND
!!!!! ]

Sorry..I LOVE U..

I'm giving..
But I got nothing..
I'm trying..
But the other part didn't try at all..
Keep blaming me..
All this happened because of me..
No more together..
Its just me myself..
You yourself..
For what I'm doing one hand survival..
Yeah..
U tried too..
But only try to make things ok..
Not to make things settle and fix it..
There are too many major problem for me to do..
Not only this..
If I turn o giving up..
What will happen to you?
I want to try..
But when I showed you I give up..
I will scare f the effect..
I really don't understand what our feeling now..
We can say to everyone we are just friend..
We told everyone no more love between us..
We make the world know that we are nothing..
But then every night & day we are together..
I'm done to be treat like this..
I'm done to give a try..
Now..
I just want to wait..
Wait for to pick up the pieces..
Fix the broken pieces..
Loading..
Refresh..
Will we be together again or will not be..
Is in your hand now..
You decide..
Because..
I tried..
You pushed..
I love..
You F*cking Hate me..
Just gonna stand here..
Watch me burn..
I love the way you lie..
I love the way you HATED..
Hear me mourning..
Hear me sigh-ing..
Hear me mad alone like a fucking shit peps..

That's alright..

We still belong to each other..

We still in love..

We still together..

But it's dark and horrow..

Living like nothing happen but actually it is matter..

Matter that me and you never realise what it is..

Never try to dig it..

Problem that both of us don't want to settle..

It's a secret between us..

Till when?

We don't know how long we will stand for this humble and sad relation..

What will be our future?

We don't know what we want to do next..
Break up no..
Get back together also no..

Will we be together till the end of time?

That is something we wish for..

It's just like a game by 2 player..
We will see who will be give up and release the tie..

My hope?

You will find someone better than me..
You will find your happiness..
You will be in love with the others..
No more disease from me..
Because..
When you happy..
I will be happy too..
Love doesn't need to be together..
Love came from the heart..
Deep inside it..
We love the person..
As I love u sayang..

SAYANG no more words between us..
I'm speechless and disable to do anything already..
All I wanted is happy now..
Happy with my friend..

Cause

I know when I'm with u we both only will be sad and anger surround us..

BTW..
I LOVE U DAMN MUCH...

p/s : babe..sorry ok.. I couldn't release my egotic.. all I can do now is pray.. =) don't worry..
I'm happy..

My Days.

Monday - Boring & Sleepy

Tuesday - Busy & Fun,Fearless & Fabulous

Wednesday - Relax & Hectic

Thursday - Tired & Relief

Friday - Busy & Exhausted

Saturday - Boring & Alone

Sunday - Rested & Free

Beauty Essentials..

I wanna share what I've been using to care of myself..
I'm not a big fan of beauty..
BUT
for me girl should care of their outer and inner self..
check it out..


this is for my face skin care product..BIOESSENCE..i love the scent and softness..but i'm too lazy to wash my face always..=Gthen ZA two way foundation is my NO.1 choice..it don't make my skin itchy..and it suit me very well..eventhough sometime i look like too much powdering..hiakhiak..I prefer SILKYGIRL DUO BLUSHER.. the colour is bright enuf even by one brush only..
this lip balm is MY BABY!! from THE BODY SHOP... IT taste so good.. n need to buy one..cause I'm just borrowing from my mom and i finished it..haha at the moment we were kissing it became a powerful and perfect kisses..haahaa becuz it's texture soft,scent so nice, and really make ur lips smooth..ahhh..




when it came to the eye area.. what I can't live with is MAYBELLINE MASCARA..any type of it I also use but recently I"M IN LOVE with MAGNUM & LONG LASTiNG OR UNSTOPPABLE..fuhh..just one brush and it make my lash full...UNSTOPPABLE for the a.m..while MAGNUM for p.m..


AVON eyeshadow is must have for eye make up.. it stay longer on my eyelid..and I love the soft texture and soft matte but a bit shine colour..




because I couldn't afford expensive eye shadow like M.A.C or DIOR..I just bought eyeshadow from SILKYGIRL..it is soft texture but the colour couldn't stay long cause I touch my eye frequently..BUt the colour is nice..



For my body...I use BABY JOHNSON'S SOAP..I need it because my skin is sensitive type and appeared many pimples on my body.. It couldn't cure the dots but at least it don't make my skin itchy..LOVE to bath anytime because of it..




I don't use any lotion..I just using BABY JOHNSON'S BABY OIL to my skin..it make my skin soft because my skin dry & sensitive..at night I will look shining too because of the oily texture..I also use it for make-up remover..It remove make-up faster and don't give itchness..I really needed it..it everywhr around me and always by my side..haha

Recently..ah khong's aunt give me this VICTORIA SECRET COLOGNE..I use it after bath..I love the smell..It make me more confident..haha



I am a PERFUMEHOLIC..haha I need fragrance..This might be inhereted from my mom..haha This ESCADA SENTIMENT was given from SAYANG years ago.. but I forgot already is this it or other type..I love it so much but It taken when we are on the airport to fly to BEIJING...siiittt..Thanks SAYANG.. u suprised me with it.. I still rmbr otw back home u ask me to find a box behind the car.. I look around and u say 'nah for u' n dis one for ur mom...haha kindet..xpa la u syg us bah kan..


This MIRACLE BY LANCOME, me & him bought at LABUAN..he chose this but I really love it..THANKS again...unfortunately,,,I duno whr I put it..ekekeke THIS is for A.M..
This is my 2nd baby.. I bring it everywhere..But I only use it for special event..haha
JESSICA SIMPSON FANCY LOVE..wahhh i love it too much oh...I bought it from the philipines..I love it till the end of tym..n I'm waiting for FLORA BY GUCCI..ahh x sabar..hehe



every groceries shop I will buy one MENTOS...I LOVE IT TOO>> I need it as like ciggarette..haha

THAT IS MINE..SO HOW ABOUT U ALL?
MUST HAVE THOU..

P/S: even we are pretty or not, small or big, thin or chub...we still need to care for ourself..love ourself first..take care!!! in or out we still need to care..

=D

y'day i was happy..
in the house i had jie2 n manyak gor2..
jim2..per2..mer2..
kira like bro sudah ni..
haha
teach me alot..
ling2..
help me with dish..
then thx to liz...tien2..lin pi..
yg bring me hang out..
have fun..
happy bao2..mkn bao2..
then to anne..
call me till half an hour..
acc me talking2..
im just relieve and happy..
thanks besties..n jie2 n gor2..

p/s: next time we go again..anne..SEE this..FOLLOW US!!! hehe

20.10.2010

hallaaaa...
it happen again..
instruder came again..
haiyak..
okok..
let me settle this ok...

but..

firstly, i want to thank you all my ladies...
liz...anne2...sandra..
u all my saviour and my heroin...
thanks so so much...

love u all....this < > much..
until the ujung dunia...
it's not i dun want to talk with u all..
but i also duno wat happen and i duno wat to share..
ok now i tell ya darling2 sekalian..

TO ADVICE :

REFER TO UR ADVICE..I REALLY APPRECIATED YOUR KINDNESS TOWARD ME..
THANKS A LOT..
BUT I WANT TO CLEAR THIS SITUATION AND I WANT U TO KNOW THAT SHOULD BE I'M THE ONE TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SITUATION THAN U DO RIGHT..
BUT U ACT LIKE U KNOW EVERYTHING..
I DON'T OFFEND WHAT YOU HAD ADVISED..AND NO WORD AS ANGRY..
BUT SEEMS LIKE U AMBUSHING MY FRIEND LIKE THEY NEVER WITH ME..
BUT THE TRUTH IS THEY KNEW ME THAN EVERYONE ELSE..
NEVER EVER SAY LIKE THAT AGAIN ABOUT THEM OK..

OK HOW COME U KNOW HE CHEATING BEHIND ME?
HOW COME U KNOW HE MAKE LOVE WITH OTHERS?
GIVE ME AN EXPLAINATION THEN I WILL ASK HIM..
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO BOOM-ING HIM JUST LIKE THAT WITHOT ANY EVIDENCE..
GIVE ME AT LEAST ONE REASON AND WHY I HAVE TO ASK HIM THEN I ASK OK..

IF U KNOW MORE THAT UNTIL HE MAKING LOVE WITH OTHERS BEHIND ME..
SO I ASK U NOW?
IS U THE GIRL WHO MAKING LOVE WITH HIM?
BECAUSE NO ONE EVER COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT HIM..
YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE..
HORRAAYYYY....U ARE THE NUMBER ONE..

ACTUALLY I'M AWAY WITH HIM FOR ONLY 3DAYS EVERY WEEK..
THURSDAY TILL SUNDAY NIGHT I AM SLEEPING BESIDE HIM..
THE REST OF THE NIGHT HE WILL CALL ME BEFORE HE SLEEP..
AND MY FRIEND WILL ACCOMPANY HIM TO SLEEP..
HOW HE CHEAT ME ACTUALLY?
BY DIGGING A HOLE IN HIS ROOM?

ACTUALLY I KNEW MORE THAN THAT..
I KNEW WHAT HE DOING BEHIND ME..
HE BEEN SO HONEST..
EVEN HIS STORY WITH OTHER GIRL HE ALSO TELL ME..
WE ARE SAME LIKE BEST FRIEND..
I DON'T CONTROL HIM BUT I CARE FOR HIM..

YA..
I KNEW I WROTE A LOT ABOUT HOW DEEP MY HURT IS..
YA I GET A LOT OF HURT..
BUT AT LEAST I STILL BEING CARE..
I 'M HAPPY THOU..

BE HONEST..
AT LEAST SOMEHOW SOMEWHAT HE STILL DESIRE TO PUMPING ME..
IF HE SLEPT OTHERS..
WHY THE HELL HE STILL WANTING ME TO GIVE HIM HEAVEN..
I BEEN OPEN HERE TO TELL MY 'BEDTIME' STORY BECAUSE IT IS OFTEN YO US AS A TEEN..

WE STILL SYOK LIKE HEAVEN WHEN WE PUMPING AROUND..
IF HE MAKE UP WITH OTHERS HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE RIGHT..
BUT IF HE STILL DOING SO..
WHAT CAN I DO?
MAN NEED PASSIONATE..
AT LEAST HE COME BACK TO ME EVERY NIGHT AND NEVER LEAVE ME SLEEP ALONE
EXCEPT MY LEAVING..
BUT THEN HE WAS HERE..
HE STILL DOING GREAT IN MAKING LOVE..=D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I AM AGRESSIVE...
SORRY IF IT IS SENSITIVE TO ANYONE..
BUT I AM OPEN MINDED...

BY THE WAY..
THANKS AGAIN..
I KNEW U CARE FOR ME..
I KNEW U WANT ME TO GET HAPPINESS..
BUT I FOUND MY HAPPINESS TOO IN THIS HURTFUL HEART..

THANKS.. "BOWING"

P/S: SORRY FOR THE WHOLE SEXUAL THINGY...=KAKAKAKA

ReVenge..

this is what i got for my sin before..
i can't stand IT ANYMORE..
it's really hurtful..

i dun want u to spend money on me..
waste ur tym on me..

but sure u din love me anymore..

it's hurt me...
u know???
or u dunno..

u happy to treat me dis way..
ok..
keep up ur good work..
i just want to spend tym wit my babe..

but u said..
'aiya xdpt trun ni'
so im kinda despair...

but as i din know..
behind me..
u go ur own..
u went thr silently..
ok then..
i accepted it..
n i think dis was my mistake..
thanks to u...
but te;; u the truth..
i'n hurt..
and this hurt had make me...
free..
without ur love..
i just knw wat hate is...
for sure..
i'm sorry ..

STEAL...

I made dis my own.. suddenly.. i miss all my babes n bebops..

long tym din see n talk to them..[

not all la..

hehe

but still i miss the ceremony of all gather together..

when will it happen again???

why ppl need to be separate?

not all my fren xtually..

since liz,tien2 n mac in one roof wit me..

but it's not enuf..

coz i want all...

i had bored story again..

n dis tym i'm reaLLY IN MAJOR PROBB..

money probs..

love probs..

relation probs..

family probs..

career probs..

college probs..

too many probs..

n i think i'm gonna explode..

he din udrstand me..

n wat had happened really pissed me off..

i din knw thr are things happen behind me..

i knew i can resist for a longer tym..

i can stand n make donno foe the whole life..

but dis happended really over the top..

n make me lyk a "boom"...

siiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt u....

damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn u...

i think i'mm gonna leave him for sometime..

i need to peace up my mind..

to the girl..

u win the battle...

u 'angkat' la dia..

sy x tamaha dia..

mati2 sy lwn..

mati2 ko goda..

or xtau la siapa goda siapa..

btw..i'd snaped his pic..

without short lg tu..

so ignore the underwear yg nampak utin..

please look at the above only../

hiak2...

...full stop...

THIS PLEASE SEE ATTENTION TO>>>> anne2 n liz..hehee

P/S againn...: sorry ya i steal u both punya pics...i need to steal jg bah..haha

Sore Eyes..

alamak..forgot to type this post after a long time of drating..
cheh macam buat novel this..=G
last week on friday..
i've been attacked by sore eyes..
when i;m going to go for raya this..
suddenly my eyes reddish..
haguiii..
but i still go juga coz i duno it is sore eyes or not..
haha
peduli la dorang..benci sia..
in the petang, it became worst..
he try to pujuk me to go for check up as i really dun lyk to have any check up bah..
1st tym failed..
then suddenly..it attacked my head..
critical headache happened to me until i just can cry this...
then, i'm rushed to see doctor..
he worried i'm driving but i scolded him..
and i ran away..
then he keep call i duno how many tym tuh..
but i din ans..
until i lost my way i answered him..
he said i must see the doc now as he aiting for me thr..
arrived thr...
i saw my eyes..
really bad..
like a vampire eyes..
he looked into it..even i say dun..cuz it is berjangkit..
hallla...bio student b4 forgot ody scientific language...huhu
but he din scare so i stare him back..
then wat pisseed me off..
the doc scare to look into my eyes n juz give me the medicine..
then he knew it and said the doc 'sen ka lin'..
after that we keep gossiping bout the doc..
he bought me medicine..
and wit that my eyes cure in just 2 days..
really incredible for me..
because he really took care of me..
evrytym ask me 'taruh ubat' 'makan ubat' 'minum air'
until i terpaksa do all that..
when i go home keep ask me 'ok sudah?'
adui..mestila cepat baik ada nurse sy..
haha
but thank to him..
he really became a good private nurse for me..
i imagined like
'he wearing a tight and short skirt,uniform that loose the button till popping out the breast,
with a cap written "kiss my butt,lick my ketiak",feed me,bobo me and so on..full of passionate'
omg..
im gonna get sick all the year so that ican received care by the pondan nurse..haha
but i really appreciated that..
only he and my mom dare to stare at me while talking..
help me to ubat it..
thanks...
momy n sayang...
muakkksssssss...

P/S: get sick..so u will be care..=P peace ya..

Fairy_talE..

why I chose Fairy?
bcuz fairy as my tot is small lil creature n cute tiny things
that can fly..free to do anything n fulfilled all the dream...
kunun la kan..
i just love it..
thats y..
i changed my layout to it..
hope that i can meet one in my life..
but eventually it is just a dream..
it will be a sweet dream if i can see it..
hehe
talking s**t..
do i?
feel a lil warm n cosy now..
after talked to my best best kawan2 tersayang..
miss u both a lot..
it seems like "KURANG 1 EKOR"
but still i'm satisfy..
after all the silence beween us..
hehe
talking cock..
yg xda2..
crita terhambur2..
but still happy ni..

today xtvt:

8a.m-woke up..dun want too..but he paksa bangun minta kwn brkfast...'hey sy penat'

11a.m-hang gai wit dear ty inday..pg met ty juju..n buy gold..mahal leh..spnsorship:him..

2.p.m-at home..he arruved n bring to nabawan..'hey xmau'..so went to kilng..

6p.m-he showed up..bring me round the new house..'cerewet la u'=p

7p.m-me n him slept of tiredness..kalau la sy da kerja..hehe

9p.m-makan..n chat wit the kawan2 tonton..till now..tired to write..


FAIRY2...can u grant me a wish..I WANT A MILLION DOLLAR>..need $$ now..gosh..

P/S: saving is important ya...hehe

DruGs.

Drugs!

uR LOVE is my drug.

Drug Is UR lover.

Drug can kill u sayang.

bUt u LOVE DRUG than U love Me.

when I insist drug is "bad GIRL of urs"

but still U in love wit HER.

a night with ME.

nIGHT after Is with HER.

SHITTY drug!

U spoilt him FROM loving me again.

U seducing HIM!

U such a bad DRUG.

Hate U n I don't want to SEE u.

EVER.

IN mY LIFE!.

GeeGeeHolic..

yay...
a baby girl in our family was born on 28.08.10
her name is JILLIAN JILL JESSELYN..Jesselyn is the father name ya..hehe]

now all of us are crazy bout her..
to touch n kiss her..
a baby have nothing to worry about..
she sleep well always..
getting fatter day by day..

with her by our side we always smile..
even been 'culik' twice..
first my mom..
then my uncle minick..
haha
they all so funny...

now she came back to her hommy..
we all here miss her so much..
ndui..
geegee...
wait for us on ur full moon..
i feel like she is my love now..
i'm in love with this cute lil baby..

Tears..

Tears keep flowing down my cheek..
Hard to accept the fact that he had someone else..
I'm standing there..
Listening to the news..
Spoke out by his own mom..
I'm speechless..
I'm burning..
Finish everything..
I'm done..
Life must move on..
It's True ty Inday..
I shall let him know that I've already change..
Face the world without him..
No more him..
I'm holding my tears..
Try to wake up..
But it is a fact..
He with somebody..
Alright..
I gotta tell him..
We r just fren..
Eventhough I still love him..
But I can't hold him as I have to think bout his gf feel..
It's the end of everything..
From we..
To me n u..
From 5 years relation..
Now it's end..

-the end-

Welcome..

I quit from work..
Leaving my house..
Far from him..
Try to be independent..

That what I did now..

WELCOME
to my new life..
As a student..
As a growing lady..
Without my love by my side..
Without my mamy dady by myside..
Without my Ty inday..
Driving by myself..
Learn to be independent..

I miss u a lot sayang..
I love u..
Deep deeper deepest..
When we r far..
I can't sleep without u by my side..

unpredictable...

u said dat u r happy when i mentioned to u dat im going to cont. my study..
u said dat i'm really not understand u..
but then u shut ur mouth..
u speechless..
nothing to say...
no smile on ur face..
it just that wherever i go u will follow me..
when i arrived to a place..
i looked back n thr u r behind me..
b4 this hugging is not ur interest..
but last night u keep on hug me until i can't breath..
luckily i dun die..
i really dun understand what's on ur mind..
u did wat i ask u to do..
but u keep silence...
horrow...
is wat my feeling now..
i made up my mind to study as u keepppppp push me to do so..
everyday u said..
'bawa pantat ka p cari kerja! pg la skola..pkir sal masa depan.'
but now when i really want to go..
u make such a dump2 dummy attitude..
that sometimes i just want to tear u to two parts..
really meradang..
wait for me...
wait me to come back..
i will be back..
when im free i will find u..
me too hard to leave..
but i have to..
everyday when i wake up u the first i saw sleeping beside me..
before sleep u the last one i see n chit chat wit me until both of us no sound...
it not dat i want to leave..
but then when i think back i should learn to be independent..

after this..
i will go..
away from u...
sleep without u..
makan without u..
but
still
i can't live without u..

I LOVE U SAYANG..

Little Castle & overhauled myself....

overhauled myself..hehe from long to short hair...

before it was straight as the pic on side of this

blog...then...curl...after that short..i done it

for only...

4 months..huhuhu

LITTLE CASTLE..

dis was my mum's theme to decorate our house..

mamy named it as above..

i felt so warm everytime i reached my home...

mamy really great in designing...]

my mum's creativity i showed here coz our home will always have different design...

esp when mamy on holiday../

all made by my mamy...

designer: clara..XD

bedtime story....

this is not same like the mv yeah..
it is my story..
hehe
ermm
i duno la wat happen to his head?
everynight merajuk...
sometime benci sia mau layan..
if i dun accompany him till he sleep..
he will keep calling..
if i'm answered he will said 'salah num' then text me..'x tahan gaya ko la'..'xdpt tdr la'
whn i'm thr..he will keep mati2 ask me 'bla plg?'
tp funny juga la u kan..
if want sleep must garu2..
sometime me too can't sleep w/out him..
if i malas want scratch him..
i leave my bulu kaki tajam..i meant i don't shave it...
then ask him garu use my kaki..so i no need to scratch using my hand or moving..
hahaahaaa
so everyday he slept 1st baru i jalan..
early in the morning..
i need to go thr at dawn wake him up at his gor2 room then help him pindah blik..
aiya...
mcm my anak oh..
but i love the most about him is..
HE DON'T SNOORING...
haahaa...
ur manja make me happy jg la..
huhu...

winduhhhhhhhhh...

i miss my home.
i miss my dady.
i miss my momy.
i miss my fify.
i miss my bed.
i miss my ben.
i miss khong2 jR.
i miss him.
i miss anne2.
i miss tine2.
i miss liz.
i miss tien2.

i duno y..i'm homesick..

i miss baby.my adopted son..
i miss mamak.
i miss bapa.
i miss daph2.
i miss leo.
i miss yen2.
i miss donna.

come hug me.

suddenly.
i feel like..
erm..angau..
to him.
with his noty thinking.
i know it's wrong...
try to get a chance.
acc me when i'm alone.
when i woke up at dawn.
watch mv he din like.
haha..
sot me.
been structed..


p/s:forgive me.

tWo i$ beTTer tH@n !...

urrrggghh..erm i'm fulled..

ate a lot zhu kiok just now..XD

my title meant was two story more better than one..haha

not 2 bf better than a bf..huhu

ok first is about global...

ABORTION!!!!

i duno why la...

dis ppl kan..love to throw their baby...

i meant their zygote or foetus...

sot maybe they all dis..

dat is ur own responsible to take care of ur baby..

not to be irresponsible to throw ur baby..

ur blood flowing in their blood vessel...

HOW COULD THOSE WHO IRRESPONSIBLE! CRUEL!

mamy dady do abortion...

i'm so sad everytime i view news n will appear news about

abortion...

after i heard a song about a campaign on anti-abortion..

i cried..

pity those deceased baby..

their momy DESTROYS THEIR SOUL...KILL THEIR OWN CHILD..

hey mothers...

don't u know u made them up...

GOD gave them soul to live in ur womb..

patiently waiting to be touch by their momy..

waiting to be grown up...

waiting to BE LOVED by their momy..

but all their wait destroyed by U!

ya maybe u feel ashamed on wat u did..

u make love with ur bf n have them...

n u were left by ur bf..

but if u r clever...

u will give birth to them...

n leave them on many shelf that built now for abandoned baby..

u should not be a moron to kill..

they need a live..

there are thousand...million...billion...many married couple who needed child..

if u give she/he to them..

u wont make any sin thou...

ya maybe..

some children might be so derhaka...like si tenggang..

but some child may be help u one day..

n u proud to have them...

i'm also not a good child..

me too will fight wit my dady mamy...

but i still love them..

i do care bout them..

they love me so much..

i'm dady mamy's girl...

over manja..

dat's y i'll be naughty some time...

but plsss..

kill ur foetus..

make u feel regret on ur lasting life...

p/s" love them as u love ur bf b4..u love ur bf until u dare to make love wit them..if u think it deeply...if u love ur baby as u love ur beloved bf..then god will love u more...pendek kata..

berani buat berani tanggung...

ok let's continue..

2nd story is about my memory..

i want to type it down..

so that 1 day..if n only if..my relation is over..i can read it here..n it can be my LESSON...

to be more matured...more independent...more careful..more loving...

in my future..

y'day..i watched...benci bilang cinta...

they ran away from home...to achieve peaceful..

then..

i remembered once..

me n him ran away from home...

i followed him..

for a week..

he had argued with his dad..n need to cool down..

1st he dont want me to follow..but i insisted..

so we went away at that evening..

he cried all the way..

i'm pity for him..but i knew his attitude..he had sensitive heart..

as we arrived..we found a hotel room to stay..

luckily we had some cash..n he brought his atm card..

next...I bought some daily use products..n my cloth..in n out..

i have to put on a budget cause his money is not so many..

he waited for me on a bench n holded my bag..

hehe...like i'm a boy n he's the girl..

then we go up n have a bath..

i tried to cool him down..his hp keep on ringing..

begging him to come home...my mom ok coz she knew dat..

we dinner wit our fren..coz luckily his cousin's gf bday...so budget keep decreasing..

huhu..

then went to a club...gambling...drinking...n chit chat..

all of them keep trying to find a chance to talk wit me bout his condition..

HAHA...funny 'em...

next day..we woke up late..n take kfc as our brkfast & lunch..

then do ntg...n check out...

after dat we went for swimming at bkt pdg..best ni..

trus at nite we clubbing agn at BED..

first tym feel so syok..coz not many peps thr..

then..we go next round n he missed throw my ring..even i pening i kept find it even knocked my head many tyms..i'm started to get mad..n he find it everywhr...he also knocked his head..

baru u tau..

lastly he n his fren cari mati2..nasib jumpa..if not kena la u..

then i mabuk again..haha

we go bck to pnmpg..

n dats the round n round of life happened when we ran away..

really susah la..

need to dig money everyday..

need to cook..

need to wash cloth..

really miskin..

only nite we be happy..

aguiii..

but

finally

we

came

home..

haha

penat my thumbs dis..need to rest n play mall world..

haha..

stay tuned..

next story again later..

coz 4 & 1/2 years..

many things happened on us...

need to refresh my mind...

ahhhhghh..penat..

bubye..

XOXO..

love: chi2

spying...detecting....wondering....discovering...

Finallyyyyyyyy...........
i made up my mind...
i discovered it....
memorandum that i found is true..
fossil dat i digged is suit...
just haven't meet u yet...
love
love
love....
was lost....
now i....
standing here...
watching u...
cheering ur hapiness...
believing that u r her...
on her arm..
gracefully..
treat u as a king...
i sipped once...
numb myself...
trying to move on...
w/out the shadow...
i heard a voices of happiness is following me...
i'm following the wind..
which bringing me to somewhere i might belong to...
i'm in love with my peace...
throwing one and one of my hurt...
leaving it behind....
i'm tracking a new journey...

..tO MY HAPPINess....

thanks for all u did...
i appreciated it...
sorry for all the wrong...
i'll changed it...

wind blown away my sadness...tears...
i don't know why i'm full of excitement n anxiety right now...

(^.^)..........smiling to the world...............

being optimistic is my moto now....
pray that i'll done it...'crossing finger'

hard...
to take away the ring...
to leave my whitey white i-phone..
lovely damaged car...
lovely ex family-in-laws...
hug u for the last time...
but for all...
im still quite regret...

it's someone who make me feel worthy to leave..
his own sib...
i know dat is not good to feel this way..
but all he had said n made me happy...
made me...
want to leave the hurt..
thanks to u 'x'...
haha

after a long time...........
GOODBYE..................................................................................



p/s: love u....lo vun khong....

>.<....

i hate when i'm drunk...
duhh..
pening2..
at his bday party..
i can't eat..cause this few days i don't have appetite to eat...n can't sleep well...eat a lot n feel want vomit...
so that night i took small amount of food..but then i started to drink...
not pass 12 i already drunk..
everyone watching on me...esp him..
i keep on going to washroom n vomitting..
then he entered woman washroom to watch me..
eventhough thr r girl inside..
but i don't rmbred that..
i just know how bad was me the night..
because of me my momy can't enjoy the night..
n kept care of me all night..
THANKS MY BELOVED SEXY MOMY...
n some special ppl..
THANKS AUNTY INDAY FOR CARRY ME..
THANKS GUGU AHFUNG FOR CARE ME..
thanks my sayang...love u..
even we fight a lot that night...
because of
1.my bestfren bf answered her hp...he tot that was her bf num..stupid syg..
2.i gave him present but the size too small..haha
3.i make-uping take a long time...

sot2 day...all day no mood...
nasib got vivian,boboy,ahock,ayung,aligato,ben2,ah syn,ah seng
yg sporting..make me LOL....thx ya'll...

the day after..me n him...kept vomit...
hao cham...
feel lyk dun want drink already...
BENCI la gaduh everyday..
like last nite gaduh pasal...
'oi knp ko lyn sy jahat'
ko balas...'oi ko yg layan sy jahat'
ahh burit saja...

by the way...

p//s:hope u read this...

SAYANG....
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY...
WOW..BIG BOY ALREADY..ENTERED MAN'S WORLD...(WELCOME2)
THANKS FOR THE LOVE,CARE,ATTENTION & 1K MORE...
IT'S BEEN UP N DOWN IN OUR RELATION...
EVEN WE COMING TO GIVE UP CAUSE NO WAY TO RE-DO US...
BUT STILL I WILL BE THR 4 U...
I STILL NEEDED U...
HOW I CAN SLP W/OUT U?
HOW I CAN LIVE W/OUT U?
HOW I CAN SMILE W/OUT UR BURUK FACE?
HOW I CAN SLEEP W/OUT SMELL UR KELETIAK?
HOW I CAN EAT W/OUT U FED ME?

BUT YA I HAVE TO BE OPTIMISTIC...
U NEED A NEW LOVE..

WATEVER HAPPENED...

I LOVE U...
LO VUN KHONG
ALAT
HONEY
BUNTOT
KHONG2
LAKI

GOOD LUCK ON EVERYTHING U DO...
ESP IN UR BUSINESS..
IN UR NEW LOVE..HEY PLS BE MORE ROMANTIC..
UR HEALTHYNESS...
MAY GBU TOO...

speechless..

I HOPE U WILL READ THIS..

i hate being ignore by u..

i duno wat happened to u..

day by day...
im getting more hurt..

sometimes when u r in good condition u treat me like a baby...

sometimes u hate me..

now it's getting worst..
tomorrow is ur bday i tot we will celebrate it together but ....
u said...
'u r not invited to my bday party'
his 21st bday will be celebrate in a big ceremony..
fun right?
but i'm not invited...(-.-')

last nite he sleep beside me..
but no touch...no kiss...
he ignored me..
he dont want me to hug him..
or else he will say 'nanti gf sy marah'

damn...

what's on ur mind?

maybe it's my fault cause i don't leave him..

i'm sad but i can't cry anymore..
i duno why..
i can't put a tears..
it's just anger fulfilled me..

GOD..show me the way..
i need to leave as he want it..
but i can;t do it..

why me?
i begin to become crazy..moron..

hate myself so much....
i'm hurt n tired of all the lie..

i want to go...
far far away..
but my feet so hard to mve on...
my heart so hard to apart..

my mind hecked...
& i exhausted...
blur to think i would cry so loud tonight n tomorrow...

i just remembered last year he had a fun with her gf
celebrating his bday..
but me n him..
is two ppl...
no celebration..
full of hurt n hateness..

i rather he keep on dating his ex..
i wish so...
coz that make him more happier than recently...

HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR WHY
I LOVE U SO BADLY AT THIS MOMENT....

miss............

a word that kept surrounding my mind..

last few nite my babe called me n we bao zuk as usual...
i try to laugh but it also a pain..
cos i do miss her so much..
talk doesn't fulfill for me..

I MISS MY PAST TIME...!! BADLY!!
i miss her n all my buddy..
my working life is not so enjoy as studying..
really....
studying much better..

facts about her....jerianne bannie kulai elip....
1.when im sad she will be thr for me..
2.try to cheer me up..
3.landing(sleepin) beside her make me feel glad to have her as my bestie..
4.she is my SUPERWOMAN...
5.don't care about money...just care about relation..
6.kind to me n my family..
7.can discuss anything wit her..small or big..in or out...
8.the one who always help me..
9.marah me if i don't care about my life..
10.marah the one who marah me..
11.my bestest companion..
12.listening...to all my probs..
13.sanggup angkut me evrywhr as well im happy..
14.she do everything for my hapiness...
15.always call n text me even near or far..
16.share things wit me...i kept the jacket she wore in my car...so its like her sit beside me when i drive alone..
17.she don't care who u r...poor or rich..she can be fren wit everyone..not choosy...
18.i miss her bump2 so much....haisss...need to hit the buntot of jerianne bannie kulai elip rite now...goshhhh....

haha..

18 things about her..actually it is more than words i can say..

18 means...
she will turn 18 this nov 28....
haha

thinking wat i should get for her..

beb..miss u...

HELP WANTED!!!!

HIS 21ST BIRTHDAY IS AROUND THE CORNER..
i'm so blur to choose a birthday present for him..

sooooo...

i need help from all bloggers to gif me some ideas to buy what present..

1.he already had a sport car n was 'updated'
2.he had watch...so expensive one...bt duno which gf gave him..
3.he had many branded clothing...
4.he just had a piece of jeans..
5.he had nike n converse shoes..ori one..

then wat else i should buy???

i'm so blur..help me..

he gave me more than i ever wanted..
expensive i-phone..
branded clothing..
car to used..
expensive bag..
gold n jewelleries..
branded stilletoes..

but i never gif him anything except hurt..
i'm so pity wit him..
i dun deserve him..
i want to put him as "FOR SALE"
but i still love him...
he gave me everything i wanted n never no..

i remember a day after me n him get together..
he brought me to have fun in kk..
lyk to celeb our together2 day la kunun..
haha
dat day im so not in mood..
all the way i'm getting so upset..
n i let him talk alone...
haha n i'm sleeping on her arm eventhough he was driving...
jahat me..
but really im still angry for wat he had done to me..
n everyday he tried to 'mengurat' me again..
but still my result is
UNSATISFIED!!!
xtually its me bringing him to kk but im the one who bad mood..
that night he went for clubbing..
because im still not in mood i rather sleep in the house than go club..
i waited him to come back because i really want to pumping that nite..
but i don't tell him i waited for him..
coz me myself cant reached his phone..
that make my mood more crazier..
i waited for him until 4a.m..
n i called him..
a woman answered n say 'jangan..jangan..eh ehe'
when i remembered dat freak ladies voices..i get mad..
after dat he sms me..he don't come home he acc his fren..chu lin..
i called again n said'ko blik skg!'then he shut the phone..
i really tot dat he was cheating on me...

i cried all night n slept at 6a.m..
at 9a.m i felt kissing on my face..from forehead to mouth..
n he hugged me tight..when i opened my eyes..
i saw him..
i neglect him n asking him to leave me..
he explained to me wat happened that nite..
he really drunk n chu lin's gf took his hp..
thr's no gurl in his house..
he reached his fren house at 6..
he knew i will mad at him so he force himself to wake at 9..

I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM HIM..
HE FED-UP N SLEPT BESIDE ME..
i'm so angry with him..
but then my exercising mood came back..
i knew he tired but idc..
i still want him to pumping..
haha budu..
it's hard to awake bird if he drunk..
but i'm forcing..
after tired we both get back to sleep..
he want me to hug him sleep..
as usual if i didnt he will merajuk lyk a baby..

but when he snooring..
I LEFT HIM ALONE..
hiakkk hiaakk me too an evil..
i go brkfast wit aling n my 2nd momy..
haha
then went for shopping..
i texting him but he dont ignored me..
so i'm geting so sad again..
then..
when i reached home..
he still went for outing wit his fren..
but i still tot that is a gurl..
im started my emo feel..
i just want to go home..

when he arrived..he try to make me happy..
he said he went searching for a bulldog..
coz i want it..
but he cant do it as it needed to order..
he try so hard..
but still im zero emotion on him.
he get angry n said "hui jia la..sou yi fu.."

on the way to leave kk..
im started crying again..
he also upset n release his feeling to me..
then..near to melinsung i said i want to go thr..
he said 'my car so lowered..it difficult to pass'
but then i screamed 'i want'...
he took his hp n called to evryone to stop thr..

i love beach when im emo..coz the wind can blow my sadness..

i want to be alone but he keep following me..
then he said 'ko mau lepas perasaan ko ni kan..pcaya leh sy x curang..sy x mcm ko'......=.=...

then he laugh..he hold me..
then after dat ya im feeling good n in mood..
why so fast??? =.=
ya my mood always change..
i become happy again..
althought a bit sour in my heart.
then he gave me superb power amazing pumping..
nice..
wakakakakaa

i saw he trying so hard to cheer me up..
but i'm always let him down..
im trying to appreciate now but
IT"S TOO LATE TO APPOLOGISE<.>...