Sorry..I LOVE U..

I'm giving..
But I got nothing..
I'm trying..
But the other part didn't try at all..
Keep blaming me..
All this happened because of me..
No more together..
Its just me myself..
You yourself..
For what I'm doing one hand survival..
Yeah..
U tried too..
But only try to make things ok..
Not to make things settle and fix it..
There are too many major problem for me to do..
Not only this..
If I turn o giving up..
What will happen to you?
I want to try..
But when I showed you I give up..
I will scare f the effect..
I really don't understand what our feeling now..
We can say to everyone we are just friend..
We told everyone no more love between us..
We make the world know that we are nothing..
But then every night & day we are together..
I'm done to be treat like this..
I'm done to give a try..
Now..
I just want to wait..
Wait for to pick up the pieces..
Fix the broken pieces..
Loading..
Refresh..
Will we be together again or will not be..
Is in your hand now..
You decide..
Because..
I tried..
You pushed..
I love..
You F*cking Hate me..
Just gonna stand here..
Watch me burn..
I love the way you lie..
I love the way you HATED..
Hear me mourning..
Hear me sigh-ing..
Hear me mad alone like a fucking shit peps..

That's alright..

We still belong to each other..

We still in love..

We still together..

But it's dark and horrow..

Living like nothing happen but actually it is matter..

Matter that me and you never realise what it is..

Never try to dig it..

Problem that both of us don't want to settle..

It's a secret between us..

Till when?

We don't know how long we will stand for this humble and sad relation..

What will be our future?

We don't know what we want to do next..
Break up no..
Get back together also no..

Will we be together till the end of time?

That is something we wish for..

It's just like a game by 2 player..
We will see who will be give up and release the tie..

My hope?

You will find someone better than me..
You will find your happiness..
You will be in love with the others..
No more disease from me..
Because..
When you happy..
I will be happy too..
Love doesn't need to be together..
Love came from the heart..
Deep inside it..
We love the person..
As I love u sayang..

SAYANG no more words between us..
I'm speechless and disable to do anything already..
All I wanted is happy now..
Happy with my friend..

Cause

I know when I'm with u we both only will be sad and anger surround us..

BTW..
I LOVE U DAMN MUCH...

p/s : babe..sorry ok.. I couldn't release my egotic.. all I can do now is pray.. =) don't worry..
I'm happy..

My Days.

Monday - Boring & Sleepy

Tuesday - Busy & Fun,Fearless & Fabulous

Wednesday - Relax & Hectic

Thursday - Tired & Relief

Friday - Busy & Exhausted

Saturday - Boring & Alone

Sunday - Rested & Free

Beauty Essentials..

I wanna share what I've been using to care of myself..
I'm not a big fan of beauty..
BUT
for me girl should care of their outer and inner self..
check it out..


this is for my face skin care product..BIOESSENCE..i love the scent and softness..but i'm too lazy to wash my face always..=Gthen ZA two way foundation is my NO.1 choice..it don't make my skin itchy..and it suit me very well..eventhough sometime i look like too much powdering..hiakhiak..I prefer SILKYGIRL DUO BLUSHER.. the colour is bright enuf even by one brush only..
this lip balm is MY BABY!! from THE BODY SHOP... IT taste so good.. n need to buy one..cause I'm just borrowing from my mom and i finished it..haha at the moment we were kissing it became a powerful and perfect kisses..haahaa becuz it's texture soft,scent so nice, and really make ur lips smooth..ahhh..




when it came to the eye area.. what I can't live with is MAYBELLINE MASCARA..any type of it I also use but recently I"M IN LOVE with MAGNUM & LONG LASTiNG OR UNSTOPPABLE..fuhh..just one brush and it make my lash full...UNSTOPPABLE for the a.m..while MAGNUM for p.m..


AVON eyeshadow is must have for eye make up.. it stay longer on my eyelid..and I love the soft texture and soft matte but a bit shine colour..




because I couldn't afford expensive eye shadow like M.A.C or DIOR..I just bought eyeshadow from SILKYGIRL..it is soft texture but the colour couldn't stay long cause I touch my eye frequently..BUt the colour is nice..



For my body...I use BABY JOHNSON'S SOAP..I need it because my skin is sensitive type and appeared many pimples on my body.. It couldn't cure the dots but at least it don't make my skin itchy..LOVE to bath anytime because of it..




I don't use any lotion..I just using BABY JOHNSON'S BABY OIL to my skin..it make my skin soft because my skin dry & sensitive..at night I will look shining too because of the oily texture..I also use it for make-up remover..It remove make-up faster and don't give itchness..I really needed it..it everywhr around me and always by my side..haha

Recently..ah khong's aunt give me this VICTORIA SECRET COLOGNE..I use it after bath..I love the smell..It make me more confident..haha



I am a PERFUMEHOLIC..haha I need fragrance..This might be inhereted from my mom..haha This ESCADA SENTIMENT was given from SAYANG years ago.. but I forgot already is this it or other type..I love it so much but It taken when we are on the airport to fly to BEIJING...siiittt..Thanks SAYANG.. u suprised me with it.. I still rmbr otw back home u ask me to find a box behind the car.. I look around and u say 'nah for u' n dis one for ur mom...haha kindet..xpa la u syg us bah kan..


This MIRACLE BY LANCOME, me & him bought at LABUAN..he chose this but I really love it..THANKS again...unfortunately,,,I duno whr I put it..ekekeke THIS is for A.M..
This is my 2nd baby.. I bring it everywhere..But I only use it for special event..haha
JESSICA SIMPSON FANCY LOVE..wahhh i love it too much oh...I bought it from the philipines..I love it till the end of tym..n I'm waiting for FLORA BY GUCCI..ahh x sabar..hehe



every groceries shop I will buy one MENTOS...I LOVE IT TOO>> I need it as like ciggarette..haha

THAT IS MINE..SO HOW ABOUT U ALL?
MUST HAVE THOU..

P/S: even we are pretty or not, small or big, thin or chub...we still need to care for ourself..love ourself first..take care!!! in or out we still need to care..

=D

y'day i was happy..
in the house i had jie2 n manyak gor2..
jim2..per2..mer2..
kira like bro sudah ni..
haha
teach me alot..
ling2..
help me with dish..
then thx to liz...tien2..lin pi..
yg bring me hang out..
have fun..
happy bao2..mkn bao2..
then to anne..
call me till half an hour..
acc me talking2..
im just relieve and happy..
thanks besties..n jie2 n gor2..

p/s: next time we go again..anne..SEE this..FOLLOW US!!! hehe

20.10.2010

hallaaaa...
it happen again..
instruder came again..
haiyak..
okok..
let me settle this ok...

but..

firstly, i want to thank you all my ladies...
liz...anne2...sandra..
u all my saviour and my heroin...
thanks so so much...

love u all....this < > much..
until the ujung dunia...
it's not i dun want to talk with u all..
but i also duno wat happen and i duno wat to share..
ok now i tell ya darling2 sekalian..

TO ADVICE :

REFER TO UR ADVICE..I REALLY APPRECIATED YOUR KINDNESS TOWARD ME..
THANKS A LOT..
BUT I WANT TO CLEAR THIS SITUATION AND I WANT U TO KNOW THAT SHOULD BE I'M THE ONE TO UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SITUATION THAN U DO RIGHT..
BUT U ACT LIKE U KNOW EVERYTHING..
I DON'T OFFEND WHAT YOU HAD ADVISED..AND NO WORD AS ANGRY..
BUT SEEMS LIKE U AMBUSHING MY FRIEND LIKE THEY NEVER WITH ME..
BUT THE TRUTH IS THEY KNEW ME THAN EVERYONE ELSE..
NEVER EVER SAY LIKE THAT AGAIN ABOUT THEM OK..

OK HOW COME U KNOW HE CHEATING BEHIND ME?
HOW COME U KNOW HE MAKE LOVE WITH OTHERS?
GIVE ME AN EXPLAINATION THEN I WILL ASK HIM..
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE TO BOOM-ING HIM JUST LIKE THAT WITHOT ANY EVIDENCE..
GIVE ME AT LEAST ONE REASON AND WHY I HAVE TO ASK HIM THEN I ASK OK..

IF U KNOW MORE THAT UNTIL HE MAKING LOVE WITH OTHERS BEHIND ME..
SO I ASK U NOW?
IS U THE GIRL WHO MAKING LOVE WITH HIM?
BECAUSE NO ONE EVER COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT HIM..
YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE..
HORRAAYYYY....U ARE THE NUMBER ONE..

ACTUALLY I'M AWAY WITH HIM FOR ONLY 3DAYS EVERY WEEK..
THURSDAY TILL SUNDAY NIGHT I AM SLEEPING BESIDE HIM..
THE REST OF THE NIGHT HE WILL CALL ME BEFORE HE SLEEP..
AND MY FRIEND WILL ACCOMPANY HIM TO SLEEP..
HOW HE CHEAT ME ACTUALLY?
BY DIGGING A HOLE IN HIS ROOM?

ACTUALLY I KNEW MORE THAN THAT..
I KNEW WHAT HE DOING BEHIND ME..
HE BEEN SO HONEST..
EVEN HIS STORY WITH OTHER GIRL HE ALSO TELL ME..
WE ARE SAME LIKE BEST FRIEND..
I DON'T CONTROL HIM BUT I CARE FOR HIM..

YA..
I KNEW I WROTE A LOT ABOUT HOW DEEP MY HURT IS..
YA I GET A LOT OF HURT..
BUT AT LEAST I STILL BEING CARE..
I 'M HAPPY THOU..

BE HONEST..
AT LEAST SOMEHOW SOMEWHAT HE STILL DESIRE TO PUMPING ME..
IF HE SLEPT OTHERS..
WHY THE HELL HE STILL WANTING ME TO GIVE HIM HEAVEN..
I BEEN OPEN HERE TO TELL MY 'BEDTIME' STORY BECAUSE IT IS OFTEN YO US AS A TEEN..

WE STILL SYOK LIKE HEAVEN WHEN WE PUMPING AROUND..
IF HE MAKE UP WITH OTHERS HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE RIGHT..
BUT IF HE STILL DOING SO..
WHAT CAN I DO?
MAN NEED PASSIONATE..
AT LEAST HE COME BACK TO ME EVERY NIGHT AND NEVER LEAVE ME SLEEP ALONE
EXCEPT MY LEAVING..
BUT THEN HE WAS HERE..
HE STILL DOING GREAT IN MAKING LOVE..=D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I AM AGRESSIVE...
SORRY IF IT IS SENSITIVE TO ANYONE..
BUT I AM OPEN MINDED...

BY THE WAY..
THANKS AGAIN..
I KNEW U CARE FOR ME..
I KNEW U WANT ME TO GET HAPPINESS..
BUT I FOUND MY HAPPINESS TOO IN THIS HURTFUL HEART..

THANKS.. "BOWING"

P/S: SORRY FOR THE WHOLE SEXUAL THINGY...=KAKAKAKA

ReVenge..

this is what i got for my sin before..
i can't stand IT ANYMORE..
it's really hurtful..

i dun want u to spend money on me..
waste ur tym on me..

but sure u din love me anymore..

it's hurt me...
u know???
or u dunno..

u happy to treat me dis way..
ok..
keep up ur good work..
i just want to spend tym wit my babe..

but u said..
'aiya xdpt trun ni'
so im kinda despair...

but as i din know..
behind me..
u go ur own..
u went thr silently..
ok then..
i accepted it..
n i think dis was my mistake..
thanks to u...
but te;; u the truth..
i'n hurt..
and this hurt had make me...
free..
without ur love..
i just knw wat hate is...
for sure..
i'm sorry ..

STEAL...

I made dis my own.. suddenly.. i miss all my babes n bebops..

long tym din see n talk to them..[

not all la..

hehe

but still i miss the ceremony of all gather together..

when will it happen again???

why ppl need to be separate?

not all my fren xtually..

since liz,tien2 n mac in one roof wit me..

but it's not enuf..

coz i want all...

i had bored story again..

n dis tym i'm reaLLY IN MAJOR PROBB..

money probs..

love probs..

relation probs..

family probs..

career probs..

college probs..

too many probs..

n i think i'm gonna explode..

he din udrstand me..

n wat had happened really pissed me off..

i din knw thr are things happen behind me..

i knew i can resist for a longer tym..

i can stand n make donno foe the whole life..

but dis happended really over the top..

n make me lyk a "boom"...

siiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt u....

damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn u...

i think i'mm gonna leave him for sometime..

i need to peace up my mind..

to the girl..

u win the battle...

u 'angkat' la dia..

sy x tamaha dia..

mati2 sy lwn..

mati2 ko goda..

or xtau la siapa goda siapa..

btw..i'd snaped his pic..

without short lg tu..

so ignore the underwear yg nampak utin..

please look at the above only../

hiak2...

...full stop...

THIS PLEASE SEE ATTENTION TO>>>> anne2 n liz..hehee

P/S againn...: sorry ya i steal u both punya pics...i need to steal jg bah..haha

Sore Eyes..

alamak..forgot to type this post after a long time of drating..
cheh macam buat novel this..=G
last week on friday..
i've been attacked by sore eyes..
when i;m going to go for raya this..
suddenly my eyes reddish..
haguiii..
but i still go juga coz i duno it is sore eyes or not..
haha
peduli la dorang..benci sia..
in the petang, it became worst..
he try to pujuk me to go for check up as i really dun lyk to have any check up bah..
1st tym failed..
then suddenly..it attacked my head..
critical headache happened to me until i just can cry this...
then, i'm rushed to see doctor..
he worried i'm driving but i scolded him..
and i ran away..
then he keep call i duno how many tym tuh..
but i din ans..
until i lost my way i answered him..
he said i must see the doc now as he aiting for me thr..
arrived thr...
i saw my eyes..
really bad..
like a vampire eyes..
he looked into it..even i say dun..cuz it is berjangkit..
hallla...bio student b4 forgot ody scientific language...huhu
but he din scare so i stare him back..
then wat pisseed me off..
the doc scare to look into my eyes n juz give me the medicine..
then he knew it and said the doc 'sen ka lin'..
after that we keep gossiping bout the doc..
he bought me medicine..
and wit that my eyes cure in just 2 days..
really incredible for me..
because he really took care of me..
evrytym ask me 'taruh ubat' 'makan ubat' 'minum air'
until i terpaksa do all that..
when i go home keep ask me 'ok sudah?'
adui..mestila cepat baik ada nurse sy..
haha
but thank to him..
he really became a good private nurse for me..
i imagined like
'he wearing a tight and short skirt,uniform that loose the button till popping out the breast,
with a cap written "kiss my butt,lick my ketiak",feed me,bobo me and so on..full of passionate'
omg..
im gonna get sick all the year so that ican received care by the pondan nurse..haha
but i really appreciated that..
only he and my mom dare to stare at me while talking..
help me to ubat it..
thanks...
momy n sayang...
muakkksssssss...

P/S: get sick..so u will be care..=P peace ya..

Fairy_talE..

why I chose Fairy?
bcuz fairy as my tot is small lil creature n cute tiny things
that can fly..free to do anything n fulfilled all the dream...
kunun la kan..
i just love it..
thats y..
i changed my layout to it..
hope that i can meet one in my life..
but eventually it is just a dream..
it will be a sweet dream if i can see it..
hehe
talking s**t..
do i?
feel a lil warm n cosy now..
after talked to my best best kawan2 tersayang..
miss u both a lot..
it seems like "KURANG 1 EKOR"
but still i'm satisfy..
after all the silence beween us..
hehe
talking cock..
yg xda2..
crita terhambur2..
but still happy ni..

today xtvt:

8a.m-woke up..dun want too..but he paksa bangun minta kwn brkfast...'hey sy penat'

11a.m-hang gai wit dear ty inday..pg met ty juju..n buy gold..mahal leh..spnsorship:him..

2.p.m-at home..he arruved n bring to nabawan..'hey xmau'..so went to kilng..

6p.m-he showed up..bring me round the new house..'cerewet la u'=p

7p.m-me n him slept of tiredness..kalau la sy da kerja..hehe

9p.m-makan..n chat wit the kawan2 tonton..till now..tired to write..


FAIRY2...can u grant me a wish..I WANT A MILLION DOLLAR>..need $$ now..gosh..

P/S: saving is important ya...hehe