bedtime story....

this is not same like the mv yeah..
it is my story..
hehe
ermm
i duno la wat happen to his head?
everynight merajuk...
sometime benci sia mau layan..
if i dun accompany him till he sleep..
he will keep calling..
if i'm answered he will said 'salah num' then text me..'x tahan gaya ko la'..'xdpt tdr la'
whn i'm thr..he will keep mati2 ask me 'bla plg?'
tp funny juga la u kan..
if want sleep must garu2..
sometime me too can't sleep w/out him..
if i malas want scratch him..
i leave my bulu kaki tajam..i meant i don't shave it...
then ask him garu use my kaki..so i no need to scratch using my hand or moving..
hahaahaaa
so everyday he slept 1st baru i jalan..
early in the morning..
i need to go thr at dawn wake him up at his gor2 room then help him pindah blik..
aiya...
mcm my anak oh..
but i love the most about him is..
HE DON'T SNOORING...
haahaa...
ur manja make me happy jg la..
huhu...

winduhhhhhhhhh...

i miss my home.
i miss my dady.
i miss my momy.
i miss my fify.
i miss my bed.
i miss my ben.
i miss khong2 jR.
i miss him.
i miss anne2.
i miss tine2.
i miss liz.
i miss tien2.

i duno y..i'm homesick..

i miss baby.my adopted son..
i miss mamak.
i miss bapa.
i miss daph2.
i miss leo.
i miss yen2.
i miss donna.

come hug me.

suddenly.
i feel like..
erm..angau..
to him.
with his noty thinking.
i know it's wrong...
try to get a chance.
acc me when i'm alone.
when i woke up at dawn.
watch mv he din like.
haha..
sot me.
been structed..


p/s:forgive me.

tWo i$ beTTer tH@n !...

urrrggghh..erm i'm fulled..

ate a lot zhu kiok just now..XD

my title meant was two story more better than one..haha

not 2 bf better than a bf..huhu

ok first is about global...

ABORTION!!!!

i duno why la...

dis ppl kan..love to throw their baby...

i meant their zygote or foetus...

sot maybe they all dis..

dat is ur own responsible to take care of ur baby..

not to be irresponsible to throw ur baby..

ur blood flowing in their blood vessel...

HOW COULD THOSE WHO IRRESPONSIBLE! CRUEL!

mamy dady do abortion...

i'm so sad everytime i view news n will appear news about

abortion...

after i heard a song about a campaign on anti-abortion..

i cried..

pity those deceased baby..

their momy DESTROYS THEIR SOUL...KILL THEIR OWN CHILD..

hey mothers...

don't u know u made them up...

GOD gave them soul to live in ur womb..

patiently waiting to be touch by their momy..

waiting to be grown up...

waiting to BE LOVED by their momy..

but all their wait destroyed by U!

ya maybe u feel ashamed on wat u did..

u make love with ur bf n have them...

n u were left by ur bf..

but if u r clever...

u will give birth to them...

n leave them on many shelf that built now for abandoned baby..

u should not be a moron to kill..

they need a live..

there are thousand...million...billion...many married couple who needed child..

if u give she/he to them..

u wont make any sin thou...

ya maybe..

some children might be so derhaka...like si tenggang..

but some child may be help u one day..

n u proud to have them...

i'm also not a good child..

me too will fight wit my dady mamy...

but i still love them..

i do care bout them..

they love me so much..

i'm dady mamy's girl...

over manja..

dat's y i'll be naughty some time...

but plsss..

kill ur foetus..

make u feel regret on ur lasting life...

p/s" love them as u love ur bf b4..u love ur bf until u dare to make love wit them..if u think it deeply...if u love ur baby as u love ur beloved bf..then god will love u more...pendek kata..

berani buat berani tanggung...

ok let's continue..

2nd story is about my memory..

i want to type it down..

so that 1 day..if n only if..my relation is over..i can read it here..n it can be my LESSON...

to be more matured...more independent...more careful..more loving...

in my future..

y'day..i watched...benci bilang cinta...

they ran away from home...to achieve peaceful..

then..

i remembered once..

me n him ran away from home...

i followed him..

for a week..

he had argued with his dad..n need to cool down..

1st he dont want me to follow..but i insisted..

so we went away at that evening..

he cried all the way..

i'm pity for him..but i knew his attitude..he had sensitive heart..

as we arrived..we found a hotel room to stay..

luckily we had some cash..n he brought his atm card..

next...I bought some daily use products..n my cloth..in n out..

i have to put on a budget cause his money is not so many..

he waited for me on a bench n holded my bag..

hehe...like i'm a boy n he's the girl..

then we go up n have a bath..

i tried to cool him down..his hp keep on ringing..

begging him to come home...my mom ok coz she knew dat..

we dinner wit our fren..coz luckily his cousin's gf bday...so budget keep decreasing..

huhu..

then went to a club...gambling...drinking...n chit chat..

all of them keep trying to find a chance to talk wit me bout his condition..

HAHA...funny 'em...

next day..we woke up late..n take kfc as our brkfast & lunch..

then do ntg...n check out...

after dat we went for swimming at bkt pdg..best ni..

trus at nite we clubbing agn at BED..

first tym feel so syok..coz not many peps thr..

then..we go next round n he missed throw my ring..even i pening i kept find it even knocked my head many tyms..i'm started to get mad..n he find it everywhr...he also knocked his head..

baru u tau..

lastly he n his fren cari mati2..nasib jumpa..if not kena la u..

then i mabuk again..haha

we go bck to pnmpg..

n dats the round n round of life happened when we ran away..

really susah la..

need to dig money everyday..

need to cook..

need to wash cloth..

really miskin..

only nite we be happy..

aguiii..

but

finally

we

came

home..

haha

penat my thumbs dis..need to rest n play mall world..

haha..

stay tuned..

next story again later..

coz 4 & 1/2 years..

many things happened on us...

need to refresh my mind...

ahhhhghh..penat..

bubye..

XOXO..

love: chi2

spying...detecting....wondering....discovering...

Finallyyyyyyyy...........
i made up my mind...
i discovered it....
memorandum that i found is true..
fossil dat i digged is suit...
just haven't meet u yet...
love
love
love....
was lost....
now i....
standing here...
watching u...
cheering ur hapiness...
believing that u r her...
on her arm..
gracefully..
treat u as a king...
i sipped once...
numb myself...
trying to move on...
w/out the shadow...
i heard a voices of happiness is following me...
i'm following the wind..
which bringing me to somewhere i might belong to...
i'm in love with my peace...
throwing one and one of my hurt...
leaving it behind....
i'm tracking a new journey...

..tO MY HAPPINess....

thanks for all u did...
i appreciated it...
sorry for all the wrong...
i'll changed it...

wind blown away my sadness...tears...
i don't know why i'm full of excitement n anxiety right now...

(^.^)..........smiling to the world...............

being optimistic is my moto now....
pray that i'll done it...'crossing finger'

hard...
to take away the ring...
to leave my whitey white i-phone..
lovely damaged car...
lovely ex family-in-laws...
hug u for the last time...
but for all...
im still quite regret...

it's someone who make me feel worthy to leave..
his own sib...
i know dat is not good to feel this way..
but all he had said n made me happy...
made me...
want to leave the hurt..
thanks to u 'x'...
haha

after a long time...........
GOODBYE..................................................................................



p/s: love u....lo vun khong....

>.<....

i hate when i'm drunk...
duhh..
pening2..
at his bday party..
i can't eat..cause this few days i don't have appetite to eat...n can't sleep well...eat a lot n feel want vomit...
so that night i took small amount of food..but then i started to drink...
not pass 12 i already drunk..
everyone watching on me...esp him..
i keep on going to washroom n vomitting..
then he entered woman washroom to watch me..
eventhough thr r girl inside..
but i don't rmbred that..
i just know how bad was me the night..
because of me my momy can't enjoy the night..
n kept care of me all night..
THANKS MY BELOVED SEXY MOMY...
n some special ppl..
THANKS AUNTY INDAY FOR CARRY ME..
THANKS GUGU AHFUNG FOR CARE ME..
thanks my sayang...love u..
even we fight a lot that night...
because of
1.my bestfren bf answered her hp...he tot that was her bf num..stupid syg..
2.i gave him present but the size too small..haha
3.i make-uping take a long time...

sot2 day...all day no mood...
nasib got vivian,boboy,ahock,ayung,aligato,ben2,ah syn,ah seng
yg sporting..make me LOL....thx ya'll...

the day after..me n him...kept vomit...
hao cham...
feel lyk dun want drink already...
BENCI la gaduh everyday..
like last nite gaduh pasal...
'oi knp ko lyn sy jahat'
ko balas...'oi ko yg layan sy jahat'
ahh burit saja...

by the way...

p//s:hope u read this...

SAYANG....
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY...
WOW..BIG BOY ALREADY..ENTERED MAN'S WORLD...(WELCOME2)
THANKS FOR THE LOVE,CARE,ATTENTION & 1K MORE...
IT'S BEEN UP N DOWN IN OUR RELATION...
EVEN WE COMING TO GIVE UP CAUSE NO WAY TO RE-DO US...
BUT STILL I WILL BE THR 4 U...
I STILL NEEDED U...
HOW I CAN SLP W/OUT U?
HOW I CAN LIVE W/OUT U?
HOW I CAN SMILE W/OUT UR BURUK FACE?
HOW I CAN SLEEP W/OUT SMELL UR KELETIAK?
HOW I CAN EAT W/OUT U FED ME?

BUT YA I HAVE TO BE OPTIMISTIC...
U NEED A NEW LOVE..

WATEVER HAPPENED...

I LOVE U...
LO VUN KHONG
ALAT
HONEY
BUNTOT
KHONG2
LAKI

GOOD LUCK ON EVERYTHING U DO...
ESP IN UR BUSINESS..
IN UR NEW LOVE..HEY PLS BE MORE ROMANTIC..
UR HEALTHYNESS...
MAY GBU TOO...

speechless..

I HOPE U WILL READ THIS..

i hate being ignore by u..

i duno wat happened to u..

day by day...
im getting more hurt..

sometimes when u r in good condition u treat me like a baby...

sometimes u hate me..

now it's getting worst..
tomorrow is ur bday i tot we will celebrate it together but ....
u said...
'u r not invited to my bday party'
his 21st bday will be celebrate in a big ceremony..
fun right?
but i'm not invited...(-.-')

last nite he sleep beside me..
but no touch...no kiss...
he ignored me..
he dont want me to hug him..
or else he will say 'nanti gf sy marah'

damn...

what's on ur mind?

maybe it's my fault cause i don't leave him..

i'm sad but i can't cry anymore..
i duno why..
i can't put a tears..
it's just anger fulfilled me..

GOD..show me the way..
i need to leave as he want it..
but i can;t do it..

why me?
i begin to become crazy..moron..

hate myself so much....
i'm hurt n tired of all the lie..

i want to go...
far far away..
but my feet so hard to mve on...
my heart so hard to apart..

my mind hecked...
& i exhausted...
blur to think i would cry so loud tonight n tomorrow...

i just remembered last year he had a fun with her gf
celebrating his bday..
but me n him..
is two ppl...
no celebration..
full of hurt n hateness..

i rather he keep on dating his ex..
i wish so...
coz that make him more happier than recently...

HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR WHY
I LOVE U SO BADLY AT THIS MOMENT....

miss............

a word that kept surrounding my mind..

last few nite my babe called me n we bao zuk as usual...
i try to laugh but it also a pain..
cos i do miss her so much..
talk doesn't fulfill for me..

I MISS MY PAST TIME...!! BADLY!!
i miss her n all my buddy..
my working life is not so enjoy as studying..
really....
studying much better..

facts about her....jerianne bannie kulai elip....
1.when im sad she will be thr for me..
2.try to cheer me up..
3.landing(sleepin) beside her make me feel glad to have her as my bestie..
4.she is my SUPERWOMAN...
5.don't care about money...just care about relation..
6.kind to me n my family..
7.can discuss anything wit her..small or big..in or out...
8.the one who always help me..
9.marah me if i don't care about my life..
10.marah the one who marah me..
11.my bestest companion..
12.listening...to all my probs..
13.sanggup angkut me evrywhr as well im happy..
14.she do everything for my hapiness...
15.always call n text me even near or far..
16.share things wit me...i kept the jacket she wore in my car...so its like her sit beside me when i drive alone..
17.she don't care who u r...poor or rich..she can be fren wit everyone..not choosy...
18.i miss her bump2 so much....haisss...need to hit the buntot of jerianne bannie kulai elip rite now...goshhhh....

haha..

18 things about her..actually it is more than words i can say..

18 means...
she will turn 18 this nov 28....
haha

thinking wat i should get for her..

beb..miss u...

HELP WANTED!!!!

HIS 21ST BIRTHDAY IS AROUND THE CORNER..
i'm so blur to choose a birthday present for him..

sooooo...

i need help from all bloggers to gif me some ideas to buy what present..

1.he already had a sport car n was 'updated'
2.he had watch...so expensive one...bt duno which gf gave him..
3.he had many branded clothing...
4.he just had a piece of jeans..
5.he had nike n converse shoes..ori one..

then wat else i should buy???

i'm so blur..help me..

he gave me more than i ever wanted..
expensive i-phone..
branded clothing..
car to used..
expensive bag..
gold n jewelleries..
branded stilletoes..

but i never gif him anything except hurt..
i'm so pity wit him..
i dun deserve him..
i want to put him as "FOR SALE"
but i still love him...
he gave me everything i wanted n never no..

i remember a day after me n him get together..
he brought me to have fun in kk..
lyk to celeb our together2 day la kunun..
haha
dat day im so not in mood..
all the way i'm getting so upset..
n i let him talk alone...
haha n i'm sleeping on her arm eventhough he was driving...
jahat me..
but really im still angry for wat he had done to me..
n everyday he tried to 'mengurat' me again..
but still my result is
UNSATISFIED!!!
xtually its me bringing him to kk but im the one who bad mood..
that night he went for clubbing..
because im still not in mood i rather sleep in the house than go club..
i waited him to come back because i really want to pumping that nite..
but i don't tell him i waited for him..
coz me myself cant reached his phone..
that make my mood more crazier..
i waited for him until 4a.m..
n i called him..
a woman answered n say 'jangan..jangan..eh ehe'
when i remembered dat freak ladies voices..i get mad..
after dat he sms me..he don't come home he acc his fren..chu lin..
i called again n said'ko blik skg!'then he shut the phone..
i really tot dat he was cheating on me...

i cried all night n slept at 6a.m..
at 9a.m i felt kissing on my face..from forehead to mouth..
n he hugged me tight..when i opened my eyes..
i saw him..
i neglect him n asking him to leave me..
he explained to me wat happened that nite..
he really drunk n chu lin's gf took his hp..
thr's no gurl in his house..
he reached his fren house at 6..
he knew i will mad at him so he force himself to wake at 9..

I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM HIM..
HE FED-UP N SLEPT BESIDE ME..
i'm so angry with him..
but then my exercising mood came back..
i knew he tired but idc..
i still want him to pumping..
haha budu..
it's hard to awake bird if he drunk..
but i'm forcing..
after tired we both get back to sleep..
he want me to hug him sleep..
as usual if i didnt he will merajuk lyk a baby..

but when he snooring..
I LEFT HIM ALONE..
hiakkk hiaakk me too an evil..
i go brkfast wit aling n my 2nd momy..
haha
then went for shopping..
i texting him but he dont ignored me..
so i'm geting so sad again..
then..
when i reached home..
he still went for outing wit his fren..
but i still tot that is a gurl..
im started my emo feel..
i just want to go home..

when he arrived..he try to make me happy..
he said he went searching for a bulldog..
coz i want it..
but he cant do it as it needed to order..
he try so hard..
but still im zero emotion on him.
he get angry n said "hui jia la..sou yi fu.."

on the way to leave kk..
im started crying again..
he also upset n release his feeling to me..
then..near to melinsung i said i want to go thr..
he said 'my car so lowered..it difficult to pass'
but then i screamed 'i want'...
he took his hp n called to evryone to stop thr..

i love beach when im emo..coz the wind can blow my sadness..

i want to be alone but he keep following me..
then he said 'ko mau lepas perasaan ko ni kan..pcaya leh sy x curang..sy x mcm ko'......=.=...

then he laugh..he hold me..
then after dat ya im feeling good n in mood..
why so fast??? =.=
ya my mood always change..
i become happy again..
althought a bit sour in my heart.
then he gave me superb power amazing pumping..
nice..
wakakakakaa

i saw he trying so hard to cheer me up..
but i'm always let him down..
im trying to appreciate now but
IT"S TOO LATE TO APPOLOGISE<.>...

LUCKILY I'm still alive...

when he asked me " how can u passed ur driving license? "
i answered " i'm champion mah...tula i passsed it"
then he argue my answered 'u having a kopi-o license..u count how many times u crush my car..u got a dream to drive my fairlady...yes u can but after a few month training...'
i showed up my upset face to him n my heart burnt up with a word...
" TAMAHA "
hahah...that's my story before..
n now after sometimes i tot dat i drive more carefully..
but the true is it's just soso..
i think it happened because of mu clumsiness..haisss..

y'day...i drove to work as usual..
when i reached the round-about i can't resist the ppl who keep on crossing w/out gif me a chance to cross away..
so i just bravely to over take the way..even there are cars approaching me..haha
n suddenly...
a woman that noob also in driving..in a speed try to cross my way.
vreeeett..
my heart pumping faster..
but we haven't crash yet..
it's just so near n we will crash..
i push my break n so do her..
than i cont my way w/out seeing her..
then...

in the evening...
he gave me to drive a honda..
haha
with turbo engine..
haha
but it's hard for me to drive cos im too short..
haiihh..

thanks to him for treat me nicely..
even that we r in the process of separating...
thanks my love..
let me sing a song..
my love..
there's only thing in my heart..
nenenenennenene...

p/s: dun drunk n drive..
n dun bravely drive..
see yaa..=)

LeT iT bE & LeT iT gO..

speechless..

unsatisfy..

numb..

blurr..

sad..

lonely..

it's the feeling for those who broken-hearted..

BUT..

Is there anyone who?

happy..

feel free..

when they broke-up with somebody..

for my opinion...
just release ur feeling...
whatever happen just let it be..
and u'll relised someday u can let it go..
don't force/control some situation coz it will hurt u deeply..

cry n let it out..
so u will more relieve & cool..
keep it..
n u the one will bleed..


p/s: here not attn/attach to anybody...this is just an opinion..